Len Penzo dot Com

The offbeat personal finance blog for responsible people.

It’s Time Unemployed People Start Working For Free

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Okay, not all unemployed people, but definitely some of them. Let me explain. Last month the U.S. House of Representatives passed another 13-week extension of unemployment benefits on top of the current California maximum of 79 weeks. And just last week, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D‐Nevada) introduced a proposal to extend unemployment insurance by up to 14 additional weeks for jobless workers in all 50 states. The proposal would also extend benefits for an extra 6 weeks in high unemployment states. Assuming these provisions survive and eventually get signed into law by President Obama, it means qualifying individuals in California will be eligible to receive unemployment benefits for up to 99 weeks. (UPDATE: In April 2010, President Obama signed the bill into law after the Democratic majority in Congress passed the legislation on what was essentially a party-line vote in both the House 289-112 and Senate 59-38.) The cost of this extension is estimated to be on the order of $70 billion. Of course, U.S. lawmakers have not figured out whether or how to pay for that, so they'll just cover it in a manner that requires the least amount of political courage. That is, they'll just print more money - damn the torpedoes and thank you very much. That being said, for now let's forget about the financial impacts and just focus on the magnitude of time, shall we? Ninety-nine weeks. If we're going to talk about the length of time that certain people should be getting paid unemployment benefits, I have to insist on raising a bit of a stink. Come on, that's almost two whole years. Hey, I have nothing against the number 99 per se. Ninety-nine is a terrific number if you're the greatest hockey player who ever lived. Or a secret agent. But 99 is a ridiculous number when it comes to the number of weeks the government allots some people to find a job while enjoying the luxury of a safety net. To be more specific, I have no doubt this is a big reason there are now a growing number of people who characterize themselves as being happily "funemployed." According to this expose by the Los Angeles Times, the funemployed are "usually single, in their 20s and 30s and find that life without work agrees with them." This story by CBS News asks, "If the economy is so dismal, why are victims of the recession smiling?" I'll tell you why: Because a lot of people are collecting $475 per week in California or $900 per week in Massachusetts for doing absolutely nothing! Most of those smiling people are single, under 35 and either have a low mortgage payment or are renting an apartment. One of my coworkers was telling me about a friend of his who fits that profile who absolutely refuses to look for a job until his jobless benefits run out. He's having a blast and the Unemployment Office isn't paying enough attention to notice that he isn't really looking for work anyway. And who can blame the guy? Why work for $10 bucks an hour stacking boxes when you earn $11.88 per hour sitting at the beach or skiing at Mammoth Mountain? If the government is going to continue to extend unemployment benefits, then the state unemployment offices need to do a better job policing those who are receiving them. I say that before anybody receives a single cent of extended unemployment benefits resulting from the Federal Emergency Unemployment Compensation program, they should have to prove they are making a good-faith effort at finding a job. After 52 weeks, and until they can show otherwise, people that have failed to meet such a modest requirement should be required to do community service for 20 hours per week in order to continue to receive further unemployment benefits. After 72 weeks, the community service requirement for failing to demonstrate a good-faith effort to find a job should increase to 40 hours per week. No community service, no check. If you want to stay "funemployed," be my guest, Skippy - just don't expect the taxpayers to subsidize you. Hey! If you liked this article, please be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed! ...

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Why Low-Cost or No-Fee Products May Not Be Such A Good Deal

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This is a guest post by Mr. Credit Card from www.askmrcreditcard.com. Today, Mr Credit Card is going to talk about how getting into the cheap, lowest cost mentality may not be the best thing for every purchase that we make. This is a slight departure from his usual credit card subject although he uses a couple of such examples below. If you are looking for a credit card, check out his best credit cards recommendation section. Thanks, Mr. Credit Card for filling in for me today! Firstly, I would like to thank Len for letting me guest post on this blog. I've been blogging since 2006 and I have noticed that personal finance bloggers mostly preach frugality. You can see that in the number of coupon blogs that are written by moms and pf bloggers who recommend every thing that is "low cost." But I want to stress that "low cost" mentality can be taken too far and sometimes, that route may not be the best. Today, I would like to highlight some instances where "low cost" may not necessarily be the best option for us individuals and in certain cases for society as a whole. Low Cost Online Brokers - There are many pf bloggers that recommend or review "discount brokers." Because of the competitive nature of the industry, fees keep dropping. But are low-cost online brokers the best thing to happen? While low fees are great for the retail investor, what is probably lacking today is top-notch research. Yes, Wall Street messed up by not calling the market right in 2000. Yes, investment bankers paid the bills for the major brokerage. But since Elliot Spitzer prohibited investment bankers to pay for equity research, Wall Street has found no incentive to provide the great research. In fact, these days, Wall Street provides their best stock trading research to their own proprietary trading desk. The very best research analysts have gone to work for hedge funds. Where does that leave the so-called "retail investors" like us which the new rule was supposed to protect? Are we really getting the best deal from this arrangement? I'm not so sure. Well, we all do not want to be paying $75 for stock trades, but I'm not convinced paying just $4 per trade is the way to go either. What's the point of having low transaction fees when you cannot get access to the best research? You will then be confined to the garbage that CNBC throws at you! Low cost computers - Michael Dell did a great service by introducing low cost computers (at least on a relative basis). Computers have steadily declined in prices. But in my opinion it is so competitive that computer companies are cutting corners in certain areas. For example, most firms now outsource customer support to India because of lower costs. I have absolutely nothing against customer service reps from India if they are cheaper, but the problem arises when computer customers here cannot understand folks from another country! If you buy any branded computers, you also do not have to pay the full price for Microsoft's Windows operating system. But along with that comes lots of pre-installed software that you do not need. This causes system bloat and slows down your computer. In addition, to get these programs removed, a retail store like Best Buy actually charges you money to get rid of these programs! These out of the box computers are mostly not upgradable. Hence, most folks change them after just three years because the costs of upgrading the operating system, memory and hard disk simply go up and your computer slows down! Perhaps if you are thinking of getting a new computer, a custom made computer like Puget Systems with its excellent customer service might be the better way to go even though it may cost slightly more. High Yield Savings Account - Lots of bloggers talk about high yield savings accounts. Due to the rise of the internet as a medium, many banks have been able to offer consumers high yield savings accounts, or at least rates "slightly higher" than banks with brick-and-mortar branches. Is that necessarily a good thing? Good for some folks. But bear in mind that if all we care about are good rates, we may be neglecting to consider other factors such as having a bank teller behind the desk that actually knows you in case you have any trouble with the account. Or check transfers to foreign banks - an online bank may require you to go through an identification process, and if you fail it, things could get nasty! Are high rates and deals the only consideration? I think not. I prefer having a bricks-and-mortar branch rather than an online bank. Cheap Digital Cameras - From my experience, saving on digital cameras can be a huge mistake. Before I got my $700+ Canon Digital SLR, I had one of those sleek, pocket-sized $300+ digital cameras. The problem with them was they took a long time to capture the screen shot (about a couple of seconds). Three years ago, Mrs. Credit Card put our three kids together for a camera shot to use for our Christmas card. Being kids, they just couldn't keep still. But what compounded the problem was that the camera took ages to capture the shot after you pressed the "shoot button." So when the shot was perfect, two seconds later, it was not. Mrs. Credit Card got really angry with the kids for not keeping still. But what did she expect? They were kids after all! So I took the plunge and got the digital SLR; I have absolutely no regrets. Now, any family shot takes a few minutes. I can capture my kids sports in multi shot sports mode and I now get much higher quality pictures that will last me a lifetime. So I would advice anyone with a family to get a good digital SLR. It costs more for sure. But the benefits you get will outweigh the higher cost compared to cheap digital cameras. No annual fee credit cards - There's tons of debate about whether credit cards are good or evil. But everyone seems to agree that if you do get a credit card, it should be one with no annual fee. In fact, I've never seen a blog post recommending a card that charges an annual fee (perhaps with the exception of mine!!). If not that, they would recommend getting cash rewards credit cards (with no annual fee off course) or do some balance transfer arbitrage where you get 0% financing from credit card companies and take the proceeds into a high yield savings accounts. I took a different path. I use a charge card instead (although I do have other no-fee cards). Yes, I have to pay an annual fee (although I get rewards), and I have to pay in full every month (which everyone should do anyway). But more importantly, I have no preset spending limit and hence have not suffered any of the credit limit cuts that many folks have faced. While credit card companies have been cutting credit lines, raising interest rates, introducing annual fees and reducing the attractiveness of 0% teaser deals, they have not done much to folks who have charge cards and pay their bills in full (unless off course they have been late or something). Folks who have airline miles credit cards pay an annual fee. But because miles they earned are transferred to their frequent flier program, they will never risk losing the miles that they have earned if their credit card gets canceled by the issuer for any reason. And that is another downside to getting a "no annual fee" rewards card. If the credit card company decides to cancel your account, you can lose all the miles that you have earned! How to avoid the cheap-at-all-cost mentality One of the things that struck me when I read The Millionaire Next Door is that even though millionaires are frugal, they do not just buy "cheap stuff". One of the examples used is that they buy antique furniture that holds their value rather than cheap Ikea stuff! I think there is a lesson to be learned from them. Buying the cheapest stuff isn't always the way to go. Here is a checklist to see if the cheapest or highest rate offers have a catch in them: Are the products skimping on customer service? - Well, you know the customer service of the big computer makers. Are you willing to compromise that for a lower price? If not, perhaps a custom made computer or an Apple Computer may be a better purchase even though it costs more. Are the products durable? - Many cheaper products simply do not last long. I have bought many do-it-yourself Ikea products made of chipboard and they never lasted more than 18 months! Do cheaper products really serve your purpose? - The example of my digital camera experience should be an eye opener. We bought our first camera because we set a budget, but we did not do any research to see if we would be happy with it or not. It wasn't that we could not afford a more expensive one. It was just that we came up an arbitrary number like "we won't spend more than $350 on our camera." We did not realize that the cheaper camera would not suit us at all. I could go on and on but, for every purchase that you make, price is obviously an important factor. You also have to consider the value you get for the price that you are paying as well. Otherwise, you could waste more money and/or end up not being satisfied with the product that you got. Hey! If you liked this article, please be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed! ...

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Scary Stories: Fellow Bloggers Share Their Tales of Buyer’s Remorse

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According to Wikipedia, buyer's remorse is "an emotional condition whereby a person feels remorse or regret after a purchase." It often refers to higher-priced items that are difficult or impossible to return, thereby making the buyer feel like, well, a complete idiot. If you've ever felt a twinge of regret or self-doubt and caught yourself saying "I should have known better," then you've definitely experienced the heartache of buyer's remorse. Buyer's remorse most often occurs after you discover you... 1) were sweet-talked by a smooth-talking salesman into buying something you didn't really need, or 2) were goaded into buying something you didn't really want because of a high-pressure sales pitch, or 3) were caught in a moment of weakness and made an impulse buy, or 4) failed to do the proper research and/or verify your ability to really afford it. I saw a commercial that said four out of five dentists surveyed have experienced a severe bout of buyer's remorse at least once or twice in their lifetime. And although I'm not a dentist, I did write a guest post over at Ask Mr. Credit Card chronicling one of my worst experiences with buyer's remorse. It's okay to admit it, you know - we're not the only ones crying in our (root) beers. To prove it, I asked a few of my favorite bloggers to share some of their stories. So grab a tissue and let the pity party begin! From Ray, proprietor of Financial Highway: My worst purchase was a CyberShot 3.2 megapixel digital camera I bought six years ago for almost $1000 on credit while a student with no income. From J. Money, proprietor of Budgets Are Sexy: Haha...Does my house count? Whenever I hear "buyer's remorse," the first thing that comes to mind is my house. Not that it was the only thing I've ever questioned (I can't even count THOSE numbers of times), but just that it's the only product you can't return and get your money back when you need to. ;) I love our 3-level lake view townhouse dearly, but what I wouldn't give to be back in the city rockin' out in a cozy 1 bedroom condo! Now is this anyone's fault other than my own? Nope. And have I learned a lot about getting my finances on track and being more responsible? Oh yeah. But if I could do things over (and keep the knowledge I have now), I would totally go back to renting and feeling "un-trapped." Whether my wife would be okay it or not, however, is a whole other story. ;) From Moneywatch: My worst recent purchase was the bike I bought to save money after I got rid of my car. It cost 110 ($175) and I have ridden it three times in a year. From Tom, proprietor of The Canadian Finance Blog: I bought a car a few years ago without getting it inspected or having its records checked. Turned out the car was in an accident and written off. When I did get it looked at, the rear bumper was partially held on by duck tape! From Four Pillars: My house - we rushed into a huge remodel project without knowing the costs. Things worked out okay but it wasn't a good move. The renovation was too expensive and as a result, the house ended up costing a lot more than planned. We just didn't research it. From Jason, proprietor of Redeeming Riches: I bought a brand new car on a "Smart Buy" from GM, not realizing a balloon payment was due four years later - buyer's remorse kicked in then! From The Investor, proprietor of Monevator: Buyer's remorse kicked in over my iPhone almost as soon as I bought it. For a start, I'm not using anything like enough of its functions, and have barely downloaded a dozen apps so far. Worse, some of those are financial apps making it tempting to check up on the stock market index level -- a bad, wealth-destroying habit if it encourages you to over-trade. The camera isn't as good as I expected, and 3G coverage is poor where I live. Adding to the misery, like any good money blogger, I worked out the total iPhone bill in advance for my 18 months minimum ownership, so I know I am paying over $1,500 in your pesos for the pleasure of this disappointment. Finally, to buy it I had to track it down via multiple shops and phone calls -- there was a run on 3GS iPhones in London at the time -- which reminded me how time-consuming buying stuff is. I mean to blog about all this, but unfortunately the blog I actually did write about the iPhone -- before I bought it -- was about how buying one can make you money. The idea behind that post is that too much abstaining things is bad for your money-making morale. My next post will be more straightforward: "Buying stuff costs a fortune, isn't worth it, and could have been spent on income producing stocks instead." Bah humbug! From The Bobo, proprietor of The Bobo Files: Do marriages count? ;) From Paul, proprietor of Fiscal Geek: My worst ever was a Chinese ATV for my son that I spend about 60 minutes per attempt to ride to get the battery charged and engine to run. My son still uses it, but it causes me to curse it every time; the safety strap comes out often on turns, killing the engine. I had to replace the battery three times and it takes 15 minutes to "warm-up" even when the temp is 80 degrees F outside - but I saved $400. Yeah right. From Bret, proprietor of Bret Frohlich dot Com: We lost the transmission in our minivan and I needed to buy something quick for my wife to get the kids around. My wife wanted a Jeep Cherokee. I found a '94 Country Edition for around $4300 at one of those flea-bag dealers and we bought it with a credit card. My thinking at the time was that I definitely didn't want to buy a new vehicle on five years of payments. And, the Jeeps I was looking at were too cheap to get a car loan from my bank. So, I figured I would just drop it on the card and make some big payments and I would have it paid off in about a year. Unfortunately life doesn't always go as planned. Two and a half years later I paid off the credit card, right about the time the Jeep died. I don't recommend anyone else try this at home. Speaking of credit cards...from Mr. Credit Card, proprietor of Ask Mr. Credit Card: Buyer's remorse? - uh, taking a loan on my car rather than paying cash... because I could have sold stocks at the highs in the early part of 2008! From SpendOnLife: My worst purchase ever: Zebra print jeans, 8th grade, $90 of my Christmas savings money, and I wore them once... money lesson learned! From Hawk, proprietor of The Debt Hawk: While I love my house now, at the time I bought it, I experienced buyer remorse. It was such a big purchase I over-analyzed it. From SVB, proprietor of The Digerati Life: As participants in the dot com boom and subsequent bust, my household at one point had felt comfortable enough to take on big projects for our house. We bought a new house right at the end of the dot com boom and felt compelled to make further improvements to it -- my spouse and I earmarked some stock options to pay for those improvements. Lo and behold, after committing to the projects and several months into the work, the dot com bust begun in earnest. The value of our stock options evaporated quickly and I felt immediate buyer's remorse! We had redeemed just enough of those options to pay for the projects, but it still did not remove my guilt for instigating the job. In hindsight, I do NOT regret the improvements -- I enjoy my home everyday; however, I consider it to be the worst timed purchase I ever made. And if the bust happened earlier, we would never have signed up for the work (and wouldn't have bought the home entertainment system that we ended up owning). From Me Without Debt: I usually think through big purchases and don't remorse, even though I may be disappointed. My buyer's remorse comes from many small-to-medium sized purchases like expensive meal upgrades at restaurants... or extra drinks you buy when you are slightly drunk. Boy, what a bunch of dolts! Can you believe most of these people are dispensing financial advice faster than the U.S. Treasury is printing money? Hey, now - I'm just kidding!!! ;-) But honestly, stupid purchases happen to almost all of us - at least those of us who are willing to admit it. ;-) I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to everybody who took a chance and shared their story with me! If you have a sad story of buyer's remorse that can top some of the ones you just read, why don't you take a minute and leave a comment so we can all share your pain? Pretty please?? After all, misery loves company, right? ;-) Hey! If you liked this article, please be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed! ...

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Killer Asteroid? Personal Finance Strategies For the End Times

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You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the sign post up ahead, your next stop...The Personal Finance Twilight Zone. So I was reading this story yesterday about a man who quit his laboratory job for a French oil company in 2006 so he could begin preparing for what he believes will be the upcoming end of the world. In fact, he basically sold everything he had and invested his money and time in trying to prepare for the coming apocalypse. Imagine that. This guy is absolutely convinced the world will end on December 21, 2012. His evidence? An ancient Maya cyclical calendar that runs out on that date, supposedly with catastrophic consequences. He also refers to the ancient Egyptians, who, he claims, saw 2012 as a year of great change. And he points to a NASA prediction of a sharp increase in the number of sunspots and sun flares for 2012; he believes the spots will lead to widespread electrical failures and satellite disruptions. Is this guy up a tree? Probably. Okay - yes, yes. He's a total nut job. What is really sad is if the end of the world fails to come in 2012 as he expects, the only Armageddon this guy is going to be dealing with is the one that relates to his personal finances. And that's too bad for him. Yeah. Heh. What a kook. Sheesh. Some people. Yep, yep, yep. (sigh) Then again... What if he is right? What if the world was going to end? Such a scenario got me thinking about how I would look at my finances if I knew the exact day the world was going to end. Would I handle them any differently than I do today? For me, the answer is, "it depends on the time horizon." Let's first assume we did know with total certainty that the world was doomed to end, but instead of the final day coming on December 21, 2012, it was set to arrive twenty years later in 2032. Exactly how would the world end? Your guess is as good as mine, but for the sake of argument, let's assume astronomers identified a very large killer asteroid that was virtually guaranteed to collide with Earth on December 21, 2032. And unlike what we saw in the movie Armageddon, Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton wouldn't be available to save the Earth from total annihilation. On December 21, 2032, it's all over - except for the cockroaches. Boom boom...out go the lights. Such a scenario begs a lot of questions with respect to how we would handle our personal finances. For example, would you quit or change your current job? Would you change how you handle your 401(k) contributions? What would you invest in? Would there be anything worth investing in? What about your obligations to your creditors? Would you continue paying your mortgage and credit card bills? And would you sell your house and become a renter because owning real estate would look a lot less attractive? (And you thought you had it bad when you found out your house sits on land subject to an emphyteutic lease.) After thinking about this particular scenario for a long time I came to the conclusion that, for me, very little would change. I would keep my job, and I would also continue to contribute to my 401(k) just as I currently do. Assuming I knew the exact date that the world would end, I would try to go about my life as usual, saving enough money such that I would have enough to comfortably retire a dozen years in advance of that fateful day. In terms of how I would spend my money, it would really be no different than if I didn't know a killer asteroid was going to obliterate the planet. I may be naive here but I also suspect, for the most part, the world would continue functioning in a business-as-usual mode too if for no other reason than it would have no other choice. Now let's take the other extreme on our time horizon. Let's assume that our ex-lab worker's intuition is absolutely spot-on and our end-of-the-world time line is significantly shorter. Instead of twenty years out, the date of our killer asteroid impact coincides exactly with the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21, 2012. This time my retirement would obviously be much shorter - but the good news is it would also be much more extravagant! With such a short time line I, like that lab worker, would immediately quit my job and cash in all my chits with the aim of living an extremely comfortable lifestyle between now and the end of 2012. Of course, I am once again assuming society would maintain some semblance of civility during this time. As long as that assumption holds true, the goal would be to spend my money like there was (almost) no tomorrow, until my last dollar was spent on December 21, 2012. I find it just a bit ironic that, as far as my personal finances are concerned, knowing the end of the world was relatively close in time might just allow me to live the opulent lifestyle I would never dream of living otherwise. So How About You? How would you handle your finances if you knew the exact date that the world was going to end? I think the set of potential answers are as wide as the ocean is deep. And so you there have it. The poles of fear. The extremes of how Earth might conceivably be doomed. Just a minor exercise in the care and feeding of a hypothetical nightmare. Respectfully submitted by all the asteroid watchers... in The Personal Finance Twilight Zone. (Hey! If you liked this article, please be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed!) ...

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Drive-By Movie Review: Breach

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This is a review of the 2007 movie Breach, starring Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillipe, Laura Linney and Denis Haysbert. Plot Synopsis: Based on the true story, FBI upstart Eric O'Neill enters into a power game with his boss, Robert Hanssen, an agent who ...

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The REAL Cost of Owning Wireless Mice and Keyboards

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When the Honeybee and I bought our last computer, there was quite a debate over whether or not we should pay the extra money for the added convenience of a wireless keyboard and/or mouse. The fear, of course, was in the uncertainty of whether or not we would end up spending a small fortune over the life of the computer buying replacement batteries. We ultimately decided to Heck with it (wherever that is) and went the wireless route, not only for the convenience, but also because of the neatness that comes with having two less wires attached to our iMac. Of course, being the financial nut that I am, I decided to track how often I changed the batteries so I knew how much I was paying on top of the premium I originally paid for the wireless devices. For the record, our keyboard and mouse get heavy use; I would conservatively estimate that our computer is in use, on average, ten hours per day. So with that information in mind, here is a summary of all the battery changes for our wireless keyboard and mouse since we got our new computer approximately 18 months ago: So how much money has that set us back? If you buy in bulk like we do, you can get quality AA alkaline batteries for 40 cents each in reasonable quantities for the average household. That means we have spent only $18.40 plus tax for our wireless keyboard and mouse batteries in a year and a half. Excluding the original premium, of course, that comes out to only a dollar per month - well worth the convenience over their traditional wired counterparts, if you ask me! :-) In fact, that cost is so low it certainly doesn't come close to justifying the initial charger and battery costs we would have to pay to switch over to rechargeable batteries. In my next post I'll not only explore why that is so, but I'll also address why rechargeable batteries actually make less financial sense than many people think. :-) Hey! If you liked this article, please be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed! ...

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The 10 Most Overpaid Jobs

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Oh, am I going to make some enemies today. ;-) Last week I did a very well-received article on the 10 most underpaid jobs. Today I tackle the other, more controversial, side of the coin - the 10 most overpaid jobs. First I want to apologize ...

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Drive-By Movie Review: Duplicity

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This is a review of the 2009 movie Duplicity starring Clive Owen, Julia Roberts and Paul Giamatti... Plot Synopsis: A pair of corporate spies who share a steamy past hook up to pull off the ultimate con job on their respective bosses. The Honeybee: ...

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The 10 Most Underpaid Jobs

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Most everybody thinks they're underpaid for what they do. But in reality, there are a handful of select jobs where this claim is especially true. Here's my take on the 10 most underpaid jobs. Unless otherwise noted, annual income figures are based on data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. After reading this list, if you think I've overlooked a particular job (like yours), please leave a comment and let me have it with both barrels. Just keep the profanity and ad hominems to a minimum. 10. Janitor Average Annual Income: $23,500 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $45,000 Appreciation Meter: Office outcasts rarely invited to workplace birthday celebrations and promotion parties. Why They're Underpaid: In office buildings and schools all over the world, janitors quietly go about their job of picking up everybody's mess. Their work is usually done behind the scenes, so it's easy to overlook the fact that they often have to deal with some really messy clean-ups like throw-up and excrement. When they leave work the place is spotless. They do this knowing the next day they'll just have to it clean up all over again. Talk about a Sisyphean challenge. 9. Youth Sports Referee/Umpire Average Annual Income: $28,330 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $50,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Slightly above the small pox virus, but one notch below dog poop. Okay, okay -- two notches. Why They're Underpaid: Without these extremely tolerant men and women, there would be no organized sports leagues for our kids. Despite that fact, the next time you want to pick-up a few fresh insult lines that would make a sailor blush, stop by your local park and take in a youth sports competition. When you consider all the abuse that these referees and umpires take on a daily basis, it is a wonder that anybody actually aspires to be in such a position in the first place. 8. Little League President / Board Member Average Annual Income: $0 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $35,000 Public Appreciation Meter: More likely to be approached by folks carrying pitchforks & torches than "thank you" letters. Why They're Underpaid: I was a Little League President for two years, so I know what I am talking about here. For a volunteer, the hours are extremely long - upwards of 40 per week. Everybody is always upset at you, calling at all hours of the night to complain about trivial things. And when you're not acting as the League's pin cushion you're playing psychologist, soothing the bruised egos of parents who all think their kid is the second coming of Derek Jeter. Good times. 7. Nurse Average Annual Income: $65,130 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $150,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Not too bad, actually. Why They're Underpaid: This job often requires a cast-iron stomach and entails very long hours with sometimes-grumpy and uncooperative patients. I say anybody who has to assist with surgeries, change bedpans, insert catheters, give injections and sponge baths, and provide other general care and comfort to the sick and injured on a daily basis is almost by definition, underpaid. 6. Exterminator Average Annual Income: $31,210 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $125,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Exterminated. Why They're Underpaid: Exterminators often have to work in dark and tight places. They're often required to work with hazardous chemicals too. The worst part though is they're constantly at risk of being bit or stung, or contracting rabies, hepatitis, or other diseases from vermin that most of us would just as soon never even have to look at: poisonous snakes, rats, black widow spiders, rabid raccoons, skunks, bats, gators, bees, mice, cockroaches, and rats. "Uh, Len, you said 'rats' twice." I know - that's because I really hate rats. 5. Septic Tank Servicer Average Annual Income: $35,550 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $135,000 Public Appreciation Meter: "You mean somebody actually has to clean those things out?" Why They're Underpaid: Their job description stinks - and I mean literally: Clean and repair septic tanks, sewer lines, or related structures. Clean and disinfect domestic basements and other areas flooded by sewer stoppages. Withdraw cables from pipes and examine them for evidence of mud, roots, grease, and other deposits indicating broken or clogged sewer lines. By the way, I'll give you two guesses what "other deposits" could be, and the first one doesn't count. 4. Embalmer Average Annual Income: $39,320 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $150,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Better than some professions, but not as good as most. Why They're Underpaid: When I was growing up I lived next door to a mortician. I still remember the empty industrial-sized containers of embalming powder he kept in his garage to store everyday stuff. My family became close with his and we did a lot of things together. Uncle Chuck was such a funny and easy going guy, which always amazed me considering his very somber duties at the mortuary, stories of which he shared freely with us kids as we became teenagers. One of his duties was embalming; it is a difficult and surprisingly physically demanding job. To this day I still remain amazed at how Uncle Chuck could be so easy going and carefree at home considering all the sadness and heartache he encountered on a daily basis at work. 3. Lineman Average Annual Income: $54,300 Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $200,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Only when the local power goes out. Why They're Underpaid: Not too surprisingly, this job regularly ranks among those with the ten highest fatality rates. This job is much worse than that of a professional tight-rope walker, as it combines nerve-wracking heights with extremely high electrical currents. If that doesn't convince you, maybe this will. And if you have a few extra minutes, maybe even this. 2. Trauma Scene Clean-up Worker Average Annual Income: $35,000 (according to answerbag.com) Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $250,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Dead on arrival. Why They're Underpaid: Did you ever wonder who goes in and cleans up the blood, guts and random body parts after major car accidents, homicides and other similar tragedies? I don't think most people do -- they just figure a site magically cleans itself up after the authorities leave the scene. I once spoke to a guy who used to do this for a living and he said the job is absolutely horrific and often requires superhuman intestinal fortitude and emotional control. Here's a chilling job description that warns potential job applicants what to expect and here are some common tools of their trade. 1. Military Soldier/Sailor Average Annual Income: $16,794 (First-year, enlisted) Annual Income If It Were Up to Me: $1,000,000 Public Appreciation Meter: Getting better, but still not enough. Why They're Underpaid: The job of a soldier is, without a doubt, the most underpaid job in the world. In addition to being charged with putting their lives on the line on a daily basis in order to protect us and our way of life, the soldier's job description also entails many of the difficult jobs previously mentioned. On top of that, they often have to do their jobs with minimal sleep, rations, and almost impossible living conditions. The freshest US recruits have to do all that for a base salary of just over $16,000 per year -- and after their military taxes are deducted it's even less. We should all keep that in mind the next time we think we're underpaid for what we do. So there you have it: the 10 most underpaid jobs. If you're interested, you might also want to check out my list of the 10 most overpaid jobs -- I'm sure that'll ruffle a few feathers out there. ...

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