So … Who wants to play “doctor” with me?
I know what you’re thinking, but you can relax. I promise nobody will end up in the principal’s office after we’re finished here. That’s because this version only focuses on taking a peek at our … personal finances.
If you’re interested in anything more risque than that, you’re at the wrong website, pal. Sorry.
OK, ready to play? Then here we go:
Show me somebody who pays a higher auto insurance premium in exchange for a lower deductible, and I’ll show you someone who overpays for car insurance.
Show me somebody who faithfully follows her car’s maintenance schedule, and I’ll show you someone who is unlikely to buy a new car because her current one is unreliable.
Show me somebody who rarely buys anything on impulse, and I’ll show you someone who always makes a shopping list.
Show me somebody who plans their dinner menus in advance, and I’ll show you a household CEO who understands how to effectively reduce her monthly food expenses.
Show me a household CEO who faithfully tracks her income and expenses, and I’ll show you someone who has her household financial situation under control.
Show me somebody who never has to call customer service to explain why his payment was late, and I’ll show you someone who reviews his credit card statements for errors and erroneous charges every month.
Show me somebody who refuses to follow a budget and maintain an emergency fund, and I’ll show you someone who figures he can always get a loan from his friends or family.
Show me somebody who figures he can always get a loan from his friends or family, and I’ll show you someone who will eventually have to borrow money from a payday loan company.
Show me somebody who refuses to occasionally splurge and enjoy life, and I’ll show you someone who needs to take a step back and reexamine his priorities.
Show me somebody who needs to reexamine his priorities, and I’ll show you someone who is saving for his kids’ college education before his own retirement needs are adequately addressed.
Show me somebody who saves at least 10% of every paycheck for her retirement, and I’ll show you someone who won’t be eating cat food in her golden years.
Show me somebody who’s eating cat food in her golden years, and I’ll show you someone who almost certainly didn’t increase her 401(k) contributions every time she got a raise.
Show me somebody who isn’t losing too much sleep worrying about a major market downturn, and I’ll show you someone who diversifies and balances his 401(k) allocations on an annual basis.
Show me somebody who assumes past performance guarantees future results, and I’ll show you someone who likes to buy high and sell low.
Show me somebody who has an investment exit strategy, and I’ll show you someone who always knows when it’s the right time to cut his losses — or take profits off the table.
Show me somebody who owns physical gold and silver, and I’ll show you someone who not only understands the importance of diversification, but also that precious metals are the ultimate insurance against economic collapse.
Show me somebody who who rarely gets blindsided by the unexpected, and I’ll show you someone who reads every contract before signing on the dotted line.
Show me somebody who likes to keep up with the Joneses, and I’ll show you somebody who uses a credit card to finance his lifestyle.
Show me somebody who uses a credit card to finance her lifestyle, and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t have enough money at the end of the month to make ends meet.
Show me somebody who wonders why he can’t retire his credit card debt, andI’ll show you someone who always makes the minimum monthly payment.
Show me somebody who plays the lottery regularly, and I’ll show you someone who’s also hoping for an inheritance to solve their money problems.
And if you show me somebody who is hoping for an inheritance to solve his money problems, I’ll show you someone who will never have his financial house in order — no matter how much money he eventually comes into.
Photo Credit: Applegurl
I almost fell into the “watching interest rates nervously” as I was looking for a new house this spring. We decided that we didn’t want to go back into debt and thus didn’t care what interest rates will do. It will delay an upgrade to our home, but it will help us sustain what we have built.
If you show me somebody who just graduated with a degree in philosophy or fine arts, then I’ll show you someone who works behind a counter asking if you’d like fries with that.
Nowadays it’s more like … “Would you like to super-size that?”
(Yes.)
If you show me someone who thinks college is about getting a job, not an education, I’ll show you someone who would have been better off going to a vo-tech school.
Good one, Erin. With the prices universities are charging for the degrees they’re handing out, that’s more and more the case today, isn’t it?
And for those who can’t afford to go to a vocational academy, there is always the School of Hard Knocks!
(Don’t laugh, folks. Lots of people have made a fortune after passing through its hallowed halls.)
It has been a long time since I played doctor, but I learned these things anyway.
We definitely watched interest rates while we were buying our new home, but not because of how much we could afford. We just didn’t want them going up! Nice title and picture though to draw people in today 🙂
I didn’t pay too much attention to the picture, but now that you mention it …
(Anybody buying that?)
Nicely done! Very clever and entertaining.
I felt really curious after reading the first sentence and…enjoyed playing ‘doctor’. Pretty much covers all sound rules of money management.
Len … you have a teenage daughter, what are you doing with a photo like this heading your webpage? Seriously.
Oh come on now … 🙂
I appreciate the concern, Myriah, but with the world being the way it is today, Nina encounters many images that are 100 times more risque than this every day in her life.
To be honest, if I thought this picture was inappropriate, then I’d never take my daughter to the beach, and I’d never let her watch television — or even set foot out of the house.
Frankly, I thought the picture did a nice job of conveying the theme of the article without crossing any lines.
Its a financial advice column. Its inappropriate.
It seems to me that, after attaining one BS and two M ED degrees, earning a college degree is both about breadth and depth…in other words, it primarily can be pursued both for educational and vocational aspirations.
neither borrow nor lender be.