By most accounts, there are more than 250,000 words in the English language.
Of course, I have my favorites.
For example, I’ve always been quite fond of platypus; I smile every time I hear myself say it.
For some reason, there happens to be a soft spot in my heart for the word kerfuffle too.
And I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I also find myself occasionally thinking of ways to insert words like hemidemisemiquaver, snickersnee, slangwhanger and fatuous into some of my blog posts. Unfortunately, I usually strike out.
Then again, I was pretty successful today.
I’m sorry; I’ll stop bloviating. (Never mind that bloviate is another word I’m inexplicably attracted to.)
If you asked my kids, they’d tell you my favorite word of all time is “no.” They may have a point; it’s a word I use freely with them.
“Hey, Dad! Brandon’s at the door. Can I do my homework assignment tomorrow?”
“No. Tell Brandon you’re busy.”
“Hey, Dad! Can we adopt a rabbit?”
“No.”
“But, Dad! Jenny said she’ll give us the cage and two pounds of carrots for free.”
“No.”
“Hey, Dad! Can I have cake for dinner tonight?”
“Hmm. I don’t see why not.”
“Really, Dad?”
“No.”
When my daughter, Nina, was 10-years-old she started pestering me for her own Facebook account. And while I admired her tenacity, until her 13th birthday I gave her the same answer all 1576 times she asked. (Yes, that would be “no.”)
My kids are, sadly, on the verge of leaving the nest now — but at times they still think I’m taking the easy way out when I tell them “no.” Of course, I’m really not.
The truth is, it’s not easy saying “no” as often as I do; it takes real discipline. Sometimes it requires a heavy dose of intestinal fortitude.
Even so, when I have to make a tough decision and say “no,” I say it. After all, that’s part of being a responsible adult.
Saying “no” often requires us to disappoint others, or appear rude. Even worse, if you’re dealing with immature people, it increases the risk of personal conflict and lost friendships.
The thing is, if you stand tall and stick to your guns, knowing how and when to say “no” can pay big dividends. For that reason alone, saying “no” is certainly a skill that’s well worth mastering — especially when it comes to managing your personal finances. In fact, it’s a key trait of effective household CEOs.
Look, it’s tough enough spending less than you earn when you’ve got a limited income — but it’s virtually impossible when you can’t muster the courage to say “no” to lavish vacations, expensive luxury cars, designer clothes, and impulsive purchases.
And while saying “no” may seem like an almost Sisyphean task sometimes, the good news is that it’s really not that difficult as long as you create a household budget to help you. That’s because a budget is a terrific tool for instilling financial discipline and guiding your spending decisions.
Believe me; I realize saying “no” is rarely easy. But it’s one of the smartest strategies available for keeping your financial house in order.
And if you’re really lucky, it’ll help keep your kids in line too.
Photo Credit: o5com
I have a horrible time saying “no.” I’ve gotten better about it in financial situations, but it’s still a struggle on many other levels. Honestly, I don’t tend to worry much about disappointing others – it’s more about disappointing myself. I always feel like I “should” be able to do more, which is a stressful way to think about oneself and the world.
I’ve never had a hard time saying “no” to my son, though. I decided when he was little that I would treat every “You’re mean!” or “I hate you!” as a sincere compliment, so I guess I’m always striving for the mean parent gold medal. Plus hearing all those “noes” will make the “yes” moments even sweeter for him.
With respect to my family and finances, I have no trouble saying “no” either, Andrea. But it’s in my nature to want to please others — especially at my day job — and so I have to work hard to make sure I do not over-extend myself sometimes, because in the end it affects the quality of my work.
I’m still not there yet, but I’m getting better. 🙂
Indeed and amen to those sentiments. Often the ‘no’ can be a thing of comfort to a child. Knowing that a parent can say ‘no’ and stick to it puts a nice safe wall around a child when the world gets too big.
Kids don’t understand how exhausting it can be to continually have to say “no”. It isn’t as if it gives us any enjoyment and sometimes the temptation to say “yes” is so great, if only to stem the tide of incessant badgering.
I also like the words papaya and platypus.
“Papaya” is a good one, Steve!
I’m sure Nina thought your “No” was a fatuous reply, with no real thought on your part.
Hopefully her disappointment won’t result in a snickersnee, her weapon of choice might be more deadly.
If you’re not careful you’ll turn her into a slangwhanger, being paid to bloviate.
I’m going to say No mas.
Hey Dr. Dean, I think the only thing I understood was the part where you said “no mas.”
(Just because I said I like certain words doesn’t mean I know what they mean.) 😉
I always felt kids need to hear NO in order to become responsible- we’ve all seen the ones who dont hear it- but as a single mom he got it much more than others I think- and at times even when I could have said YES I would say NO to get him used to it and train him to accept it and not feel so entitled- it worked out well – he started working for neighbors at 12 (like your daughter) and began seeking ways to earn what he wanted. My son graduated college with no student debt because he worked full time and paid the tuition as he went.
your posts crack me up– what do you think of flutterbudget?
I have no idea what “flutterbudget” means, but I like the way it rolls off the tongue! I’d rank it right up there with “bumbershoot.”
Having switched to living on one income, my wife and I are having to say “no” to more and more requests. Lunches out with friends, concerts. Lots of stuff we *can* afford. But we can’t do all that stuff *and* meet our financial goals.
Hang in there. I remember when the Honeybee and I were just starting out — and went from two incomes to one, we were in the same boat.
The trick we used to keep our sanity was to not strangle ourselves financially by ensuring we had a small “mad money” account that enabled us to at least go out and have some fun with out friends every once in awhile.
We starting paying ourselves a little allowance for guilt-free spending and it’s helped a lot over the last few months.
Where do you come up with these articles? Great post! My favorite word is flummox.
And you are SO right. Learning to say no took me a lot of practice, and my finances took a hit for it early on. It’s much easier for me today. I don’t know if my kids should get a little credit for helping me get there or not!
Flummox … good one, Jessica! 🙂
As for where I come up with these posts. I’m not really sure. I just kind of take them as they come — but thank you.
“No” will never get you into trouble when dealing with high pressure salesmen like timeshare representatives.
That it won’t. Or car salesmen either.
My grandmother, who came to the US speaking 6 languages, but not English, used to say “It didn’t matter, the only English word she needed was No”
That is amazing, speaking six languages. Wow.
Did you know English is the third most-spoken language in terms of native speakers (after Mandarin and Spanish)?
However, after you include folks who speak English as a second language, it is easily the most-spoken language on Earth.
Given that a higher education now equates snobbery, we wouldn’t want you to edify us with sesquipedalian vocabulary to demonstrate how euridite you are. That would manifestly divulge a university education, and put you in an awkward juxtaposition of friendly blogger and pedantic elitist. Oh the horror!
I myself would never use multisyllabic words. 🙂
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Parents, of course, do not have a monopoly on “no.” As I recall, the first two words my son learned were “mine” and “NO!”
Well done, sir! Although, the last thing I want to be known as is a pedantic elitist, DC!
Like I told Dr. Dean, I don’t even know what most of those words even mean! 😉
Well done, well done!
I really struggle with saying “no.” I need to learn that first and foremost I don’t have to agree to things I don’t want to agree. But sometimes I feel that I need to be a better friend, a better daughter, a better supervisor. Maybe it is time to just say to myself “the hell with it” and do what is right for me!
You go, Aloysa! Thats the spirit! 🙂
I hear ya, KC. Like Andrea mentioned, saying “no” more than “yes” only makes those “yesses” that much sweeter when the kids do get them.
My children will tell you that “no” is my favorite word. But they also seem to think that “maybe” means “yes”.
But since platypus is one of your faves and you have kids, I just have to say it: “Hey, where’s Perry?”
It’s the same thing in my house, Marie. “Maybe” (to the kids) is always construed as “yes.”
So I’ve learned to never say “maybe.” 😉
I can’t wait to say no.
No should you, Ant!
My wife and I can say “NO” to excessive shopping but my kids are another story. They don’t give a damn!
I prefer “Not Today”. It’s a cathartic way of shutting down a request but leaves open the future possibility of it happening. Some possibilities can and do become probabilities – when all the stars align correctly.
Stacy, my Dad always used to say “one of these days.” It’s another example of how to say “no” with a little less finality to it.
I guess the hardness of my life made it easier to say No. Unless I am exhausted and very sad, I can say No like a hung needle on a record.
One of my favorite words is bumblebee. I enjoy eating them.
Colt’s Candy Co in Nashville makes the best Bumblebees.
Walela is another one. It is Cherokee for hummingbird.