Who doesn’t love a free lunch? I know I’ve never turned one down. If you believe everything you read on the Internet, then there are lots of products and services you should never pay for.
The problem is “never” is such a strong word, isn’t it? So is “free.”
And while I’ve never turned down a free lunch, in reality they’re usually hard to come by.
So, with that in mind, here’s my take on some recommended products and services that we’re constantly being told we should never ever pay for:
1. Pets
The Conventional Wisdom: Why pay a pet store or a breeder big bucks when you can go to a shelter and adopt one?
Free Lunch Meter: That dog don’t hunt.
(Reality) Check, Please: Most shelters require you to pay pet adoption fees to cover their cost of doing business.
The Bottom Line: Pet adoption can still be up to two orders of magnitude cheaper than buying a pet from a reputable breeder.
2. Cell Phones
The Conventional Wisdom: Everybody knows you can get a free cell phone by signing a contract with your carrier.
Free Lunch Meter: Zero (bars).
(Reality) Check, Please: Many companies that offer free-phone plans charge a monthly premium.
The Bottom Line: If said plan has a $10 monthly premium over the life of a two-year contract, that “free” phone is actually $240.
3. Exercise
The Conventional Wisdom: You can get all the exercise you need without ponying up for expensive gym memberships.
Free Lunch Meter: Atlas shrugged.
(Reality) Check, Please: That depends on factors such as whether you have room for the equipment, and can take advantage of the outdoors all year long.
The Bottom Line: Good arguments on both sides. It really depends on how you prefer to keep yourself in shape.
4. Water
The Conventional Wisdom: On a cost per gallon basis, tap water is essentially free. So is rain water.
Free Lunch Meter: Well, it makes sense to me. (Pun intended.)
(Reality) Check, Please: It depends. I pay less than a penny for every 20 gallons of tap water I use. Then again, if you live in the middle of the Sahara desert …
The Bottom Line: If you hate the taste of your local tap water, buy a filter. It’s a cheaper alternative than the bottled stuff.
5. Newspapers
The Conventional Wisdom: Newspapers publish the same content in their paper as they do on the Internet.
Free Lunch Meter: So this is news?
(Reality) Check, Please: Some newspapers charge for online content, many don’t.
The Bottom Line: If you’re concerned about missing out on the coupons, limit your subscription to the Sunday edition.
6. Credit Reports
The Conventional Wisdom: Why pay for an annual credit report when there are websites that offer them for free?
Free Lunch Meter: 800 (On a scale from 300-850.)
(Reality) Check, Please: See the conventional wisdom.
The Bottom Line: You can get a free update every four months by rotating your report requests between the different reporting agencies.
7. Real Estate Commissions
The Conventional Wisdom: When it comes to real estate agents, you rarely get what you pay for.
Free Lunch Meter: The premise has a strong foundation.
(Reality) Check, Please: Many people are unwilling to put in the effort required to sell their own home.
The Bottom Line: Millions of people have saved thousands in commissions by going for-sale-by-owner (FSBO).
8. Doula Services
The Conventional Wisdom: You can save money by using an unlicensed doula in-training. For free! (Or at least for a small donation.)
Free Lunch Meter: What’s a doula?
(Reality) Check, Please: From what I can tell, a doula is basically a midwife.
The Bottom Line: When it comes to matters of life and death, I refuse to use an unlicensed anything.
9. Baby Formula
The Conventional Wisdom: Why use baby formula when you can get breast milk for free?
Free Lunch Meter: It’s an uplifting thought.
(Reality) Check, Please: Some women are unable or unwilling to breast feed.
The Bottom Line: Breast milk is free — at least until Congress figures out a way to tax it.
10. Diapers
The Conventional Wisdom: By teaching your baby something called Elimination Communication, you can avoid paying for diapers.
Free Lunch Meter: Um, okay.
(Reality) Check, Please: Are there any doulas out there that could give us the real poop on this?
The Bottom Line: Woe to the parent who has a baby that happens to be a slow learner — and white carpet.
11. Books
The Conventional Wisdom: You can always check out your favorite books at the local library.
Free Lunch Meter: Word up.
(Reality) Check, Please: Unless your hometown library is the Library of Congress, there’s no guarantee you’ll find what you’re looking for.
The Bottom Line: Borrowing them for free is infinitely cheaper than buying them.
12. Credit Counseling Services
The Conventional Wisdom: The first stop for anybody looking for credit counseling services should be the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC).
Free Lunch Meter: Definitely good advice.
(Reality) Check, Please: See the conventional wisdom.
The Bottom Line: The NFCC provides free financial advice at over 850 offices located across the United States.
13. Tax Preparation Fees
The Conventional Wisdom: Most taxpayers qualify for free e-filling and/or have taxes simple enough to do themselves.
Free Lunch Meter: It depends — so audit your particular situation.
(Reality) Check, Please: The IRS says more than 50 million taxpayers have used their Free File service since 2003.
The Bottom Line: For folks with complicated tax returns, tax professionals typically find more than enough additional deductions to offset their fee.
14. Banking Services
The Conventional Wisdom: Why would anybody ever pay for a checking account when there are plenty of places offering free ones?
Free Lunch Meter: Take it to the bank.
(Reality) Check, Please: See the conventional wisdom.
The Bottom Line: Just be sure that you maintain any minimum balance requirements to avoid penalties.
15. Credit Cards
The Conventional Wisdom: Unless you’re completely clueless, there’s no reason to ever get a credit card that charges an annual fee.
Free Lunch Meter: Sorry, but that charge has been declined.
(Reality) Check, Please: Some rewards cards charge an annual fee in exchange for extended rewards and special benefits.
The Bottom Line: The perks offered by rewards cards usually more than pay for themselves.
16. Microsoft Office
The Conventional Wisdom: Why pay for Microsoft Office when there’s the open source alternative, OpenOffice?
Free Lunch Meter: An Unexpected Error Has Occurred.
(Reality) Check, Please: It depends on a lot variables.
The Bottom Line: OpenOffice lacks some features that some users may find essential.
17. Moving Boxes
The Conventional Wisdom: You can almost always pick up free cardboard boxes on Craigslist; but there are many other places too.
Free Lunch Meter: Sometimes you really can get a free lunch.
(Reality) Check, Please: See the conventional wisdom.
The Bottom Line: There’s always a ready supply of free cardboard boxes — you just need to look.
18. Shipping
The Conventional Wisdom: Why pay for shipping when there are websites like Freeshipping.com out there?
Free Lunch Meter: (Incomplete) stamp of approval.
(Reality) Check, Please: Many places depend on shipping charges to boost their bottom line.
The Bottom Line: If only somebody could figure out a way to get rid of those mysterious handling fees. Freehandling.org, anyone?
Photo Credit: andrew steinmetz
Water is free when you’re on a well. And it doesn’t taste like chlorine.
Exercising at home still costs something, but my bench and free-weights cost less than six months of gym membership.
Who needs newspapers when there are blogs like this around?
Oh man, but the well water when I was growing up?? Ugh.
Exercising at home is great if you have the space. My challenges are
-lack of space (no room for equipment, though I do have dumbbells and mats)
-no pool. I like to swim
-a 2 year old. If he’s awake, he takes the opportunity to crawl on my back if I attempt pushups or planks.
When it comes to exercising, Marcia, my biggest challenge is just getting motivated!
Well water is free ….so far…..I understand there are places talking about putting meters on private wells, give “The State” owns everything including the water under the land they let you pay your annual rent on. (property tax)
GETTING the water….not so much. Cost $10/ft here to drill, then add the cost of pump, pressure tank, lines and the electricity to run the pump, and municipal water starts to look like a bargain except for quality issues in some places.
I have a gravity spring that needs no pump, but still had to put in storage tanks, lines, and UV sterilizer system. And if something goes wrong with it, I’m also the water dept guy.
I think exercise is the only true “free” thing out there. If someone lives in a state with four seasons and just can’t go outside in the dead of winter, then I guess exercise has taken a sabbatical!
@David Leonhard – I didn’t realize well water was free! However, doesn’t it cost to dig a well? If you factored in the cost of digging the well, at what point would the water actually be free? I’m just curious to know how that works.
Where I live, it can cost between $4000 to $8000 depending how far they need to drill, what they had to drill through to get to a source of water and of course, the company you had to hire to dig the well. (That is another topic that maybe Len can tap into someday)…… have lived on well water for 40 of my 48 years here on Earth and you need to add in some factors.
How many people are in your household? It takes an added amount the more a family expands. It takes water to do laundry. It takes water to shower or bathe. It takes water to feed the pretty Red Maple tree you planted. In other words, you need water for everything. Seeing that we are talking about drinking water, this doesn’t have a huge (even if it has a minor) impact on monthly cost.
At the moment, I am living in my grandparents house and the well was dug 50 years ago. No one else should have a problem with the cost you speak of unless you build a new house and have to dig a well. Even at that, after all the other uses of water needed, the cost would be a bare medium. To answer your question how water can be free and when…. immediately.
To revise my last sentence from,”To answer your question how water can be free and when. immediately.”
It should have read,”To answer your question how DRINKING water can be free and when. immediately.”….sorry
rainwater is free but can you drink it and not get sick?
We have always had a free pet rule in our house. We usually get roped into pets by friends who have had a litter. But, I did break down and pay $50 for our lab puppy and that was a great deal. We never get our pets from breeders or pet stores.
We also never adopt from our local shelter, because those people are bizarre. They charge a fortune for a pet adoption and they make you sign all kinds of papers and agreements. You can’t make the dog or cat sleep outside and you must agree up to $5,000 in veteranary costs. I think they even check up on you, after the adoption.
I would love to do the right thing and adopt my pets from the shelter, but I don’t need PETA coming down on me. Having a pet is supposed to be fun.
Yes, it is fun, but it’s also a responsibility. I think any pet owner would not have a problem with these responsibilities if they truly care for their pet. Adoption agency’s are supposed to check up on adopted animals. There are too many being sold for animal testing and dog fighting rings. I have one adopted dog, one stray dog and a stray cat. I owe it to them to spend money as needed on food, vet, etc. so, in the end it’s not free, but worth it.
I think there is something to be said about owning books. I’m all for libraries, but having a few favorites, one’s that you LOVE, can write in, pass around to friends, seems worth it.
Bowflex’s cheapest home gym costs $649, with $299 for professional installation. (Never mind that everyone I know who’s ever owned one has used it as a coat rack.) For me, that’s 9.5 years’ worth of Gold’s Gym membership. Plus a home gym doesn’t have the external visual stimulation of a real gym, if you know what I mean.
Besides, home is a place to sit on the couch and watch football.
I have to say, I’m a social workout person. I like gyms, fitness classes, seeing the same other 8 people in the pool in the morning. I also have joined walking groups and triathlon training clubs.
It’s a real effort for me to limit my fitness expenses. I have 2 gym memberships! One for the YMCA (great for the family), one at 24 hour fitness (great for when I have insomnia at 3 am!)
Just an FYI, a doula is not actually a midwife. She is a person trained (or not) to provide the laboring mother support during labor. She will not deliver your baby. However, studies show that mothers who want to avoid c-sections are much likelier to do so when working with a doula. One could make the case for saving money by not having a csection, but that would be way off topic…
I’ve used both licensed and unlicensed doulas and would highly recommend them to every pregnant woman or expectant father. They are worth their weight in gold.
Absolutely correct. I’ve also used a licensed doula’s services for the births of both of my children.
My doula provided incalculable support for both me and my husband. In addition, the doula was my advocate, providing the interface between us and the hospital staff to ensure that my birth plan was followed.
It was money well spent.
Thank you for pointing out that there are distinct differences between midwives and doulas. I am a doula myself and was more than a little taken aback by this description of my profession! Not only do doulas not deliver babies, doing anything medical is out of the doula scope of practice. It’s not an uncommon misconception, but I am surprised to see that the author here (who did seem to do some fact checking in many areas of the article) didn’t fact check this. I hope the article can be ammended to correct this error!
Emma, as I have mentioned to more than a few other doulas who have since sent me emails and comments on this post (more than a half dozen so far): Those who read the article carefully will notice that I openly admit not knowing what a doula does (“What’s a doula?”). I then use a conditional statement regarding their job description. (“From what I can tell, a doula is basically a midwife.”) I did not say: “A doula is a midwife.”
I also linked to a site that promotes doulas, for anybody who wanted more information on the profession.
Frankly, I’m more than a little bit surprised that so many doulas had knee-jerk reactions to this piece and failed to pick up on the tenor of the article.
I was extremely offended by the discredit to my profession as a doula myself! Whether the tenor of the article was a joke or not, it’s still hinting that doulas are not worth their fees. Unfortunately your lack of research or knowledge is leaving a bad taste in potential clients who are reading this which in turn is dampening the doula community and growth.
With all due respect, Megan, the market decides what a doula is worth — not irreverent articles on the Internet, whether they’re penned by me or anyone else.
As for the lack of research: I included a link in the article to an international doula organization, DONA International! Geez.
I think the only folks who have a bad taste in their mouth are a few doulas out there who wanted the article to be all about their profession in order to draw in potential clients. Sorry to disappoint you.
All I want to make clear is that doulas should not be on this list. Doulas are VERY valuable to childbearing women and have shown to increase a woman’s satisfaction of her birth experience and REDUCE the number if EXPENSIVE C sections. As a man, of course you cannot appreciate that so leave womens’ services ALONE.
Of course. (rolls eyes)
Reading comprehension check: Are unlicensed/uncertified doulas allowed to make critical life and death decisions for women in labor?
If not — then you need to read MUCH more carefully, Grace.
(If so, then that’s pretty scary.)
More than likely, through your public library, you actually have access to just about any book in any university or public library IN THE COUNTRY at no or very little cost to you. It’s called an InterLibrary Loan. Your library can borrow the books on your behalf then you just go pick them up at your local library. It may take a couple of weeks to get what you want, but if it’s a hard to find book, video or even cd — or your book habit would run you more than your paycheck as mine would, this is a GREAT way to go!
RE: #4, WATER:
If water is ‘free’, then why is my water bill so dang expensive (billed $140 quarterly)? And there is also the annual sewer charges of about $425. Or are we just talking about drinking water?…sorry, but I have not actually read the original article. I will do that now.
It depends on how much you use, Holly. Our family uses about 6000 gallons per month for drinking, cooking, laundry, showers, etc. Even at our rate – which is less than a penny per 20 gallons – we’re still paying around $30 per month.
I think the gym membership is worth the money. I don’t want to exercise for free at home, I want to socialize and exercise and it is a great bang for your buck. You get to socialize without going to the bar, which would save me even more money, if I went to bars. Also, just like the previous “scenery” comment made by the previous gentleman, it’s not too bad for us gals either.
Scenery, huh? Julie, I still don’t know what you and that other guy are talking about. 😉
Sorry, but dude, some of this stuff is not even really practical!!
Yep, our HSPCA Dachshund mutt was $75 5 years ago and our Pug was $250 from Pughearts Rescue.
We use Annual Credit Reports for our reports and you can check your score for free at CreditKarma dot com. It’s only your Transunion score, but that’s good enough for me. 🙂
I’m also a big supporter of disposable diapers or at least cloth diapers. Yes, a kid can learn quickly, but I rather sacrifice an extra 6 months in diapers to save on all the cleanups…
Love the list!
I was going to suggest the credit karma site too – they not only give you your credit score, they plot it monthly and suggest ways to improve it. Of course, if you do things like get out of debt or pay off your house….there is no saving your otherwise high credit score.
Freely – If I interpret your comment correctly you are saying that being debt free hurts your credit score. Not true. I have been debt free for eight plus years and have a FICO score of 840. I do have credit cards, only two of which I use regularly and pay off monthly. And if you’re truly debt free you don’t give a hoot about your credit score anyway.
My general rule of thumb is that if something is advertised as “free”, it isn’t (think of the cell phone, credit cards, travel offers, etc.) Why would a company pay to advertise something if it is free? That’s not getting anything for their advertising dollars…unless it really is NOT free!
You should read the book “Free” by Chris Anderson, editor of Wired. It explains how giving things away is indeed a legitimate business model in the 21st century. Of course the “seller” in these instances is still making money: the idea is to give away either a basic version of a product or service to a lot of people, while charging a few for the fully-functional version. It really does work, and it’s a great opportunity for the savvy consumer to be a free rider and let other people do the paying.
My family has owned/bred standard poodles since 1971. Why I can’t tell people how to get their pets I can assure you one thing, breeding dogs responsibly is more of a hobby than a for profit enterprise. For the most part, most breeders don’t turn any profit. Those who do are running puppy mills and will produce sickly, unsound dogs. Don’t dismiss a purebred dog because it is expensive. A responsible breeder will match a dog’s personality with the personality and needs of the potential owner. The dogs are healthy, disease free and you can trace their lineage several generations with a pedigree. Just because something is expensive, doesn’t mean it does not have value.
LOL this is a great list!
Though I did pay for my doggy (but he’s so cute!).
I don’t think I would not pay for a licensed midwife to delivery my baby, if I had one. A lot of things can go wrong (knock on wood) during childbirth, unfortunately.. and you’d want someone who knows what they’re doing.
lol. great list. It so true. There are “free things” but often there are hidden costs.
I especially loved 8,9,10. Probably coz I have kids, had problems during birth so defnitely needed the hospital, couldn’t breastfeed (medical reasons) and am all for diapers! lol.
Great post.
As far as diapers go, I have used cloth diapers for my children…no way am I paying either the financial or environmental cost of disposables. The following information influenced this choice:
Disposables will cost you on average $2000-$3000 dollars over the two and a half years your child is in diapers. Add to this the cost of gas and irritation of having to run out and get diapers at two in the morning, and let’s not forget the impact on our landfills/environment either.
(In comparison, I made a one-time purchase of 4 dozen Bum Genius all in one diapers. They grow with your child from newborn to potty-training by a clever series of very durable adjustable plastic snaps, from an online company for approximately $600. They do not leak and you can wash and dry them at home easy. If you add in laundry supplies such as soap and a diaper pail, water and cloth wipes (also to be washed), cloth diapers come in right around $1000 for the same amount of time your child is in disposable diapers. Add to this, my second child is now using these same diapers. They are in great shape and I didin’t need to replace them. I am halfway through diapering this second one and will probably be able to use them again or pass them along to someone else.)
Cloth diapers are not the soaking wet diaper pin mess covered in plastic pants that they once were. They are made to fit just as well as disposables, (some made from organic material too)leakproof, come in a variety of prints and colors, use velcro and snaps for closures. For not a whole lot of effort anyone can use cloth diapers, even dads.
Don’t forget those diaper rash creams you have to buy either when you use disposables. When most babies wore cloth, there was less then 10% of kiddos with diaper rash (according to pediatricians), once the switch to disposables were made, it jumped to 70-some percent of kiddos experiencing diaper rash.
OK, here’s another tip for the ladies. Guys shut your eyes, plug your ears, or scroll forward rapidly…this part is nothing you would probably care to discuss.
Another great money and resource waster is our, er, ‘monthly needs’ ladies. Being kind of an admitted eco-nut, I spent a good deal of time (and trial and error) trying to find a good substitute to disposable pads, which not only cost a small fortune over our lifetimes, but also have a huge impact on the environment, not just in the landfills, but in the pads creation which includes LOTS of clorine runoff into our waterways. Yuck!
(It takes 500 years for ONE disposable menstrual pad to biodegrade. 11.3 billion menstrual products go to the landfills in American each year. The chemicals used in disposable pads either in their construction or for odor/liquid control are horrible and end up in our waterways and in the fish we eat. website is newmoonpads.com)
After trying many different cloth alternatives, the one I have found that works the best are called New Moon Pads. They are made and sold by a work at home mom. (She also does diapers, but I did like the Bum Genius better.)
These pads are brilliant, come in a variety of sizes, do not leak, and are soooo comfortable. She has a website (complete with verifiable eco notes and stats),you can buy a sampler of different sizes at a low cost and she sells all of the pads both individually and in sets. I chose to purchase: 6-3pks of her Full Moon pads, and 2-3pk of her Moon Light pads (for lighter days). I also purchased 2-4pks of her super soft cotton-flannel wipes, 2 ‘wet’ bags and 2 carry bags…this all totaled about $260. They come in lots of prints or in plain organic. They are durable, I have been using this set for over four years now and still going. The wipes are great as well and can be washed right along with the pads. (no snaps, velcro or bands either although there is a winged variety available if you prefer)
Disposables, depending on brands/sales/etc, I have found cost on average about $6 a bag or more. In approximately 43 purchased bags of disposable pads (about 3 yrs worth more or less depending on the woman) at $258, the cloth pads have paid for themselves.
To launder them, just toss ’em in the wash like your regular laundry. No speical soap or treatments needed. If you prefer to wash them as a small seperate load, use cold water. Pads do not have to be soaked prior. (a small lidded container under the bathroom sink will serve to hold used pads until you are ready to wash a load.)
I figure the origional set I got will last about another 4 years, so over an 8 year block of time, I will have saved $1290 and have not killed the environment in the meantime.
I think women buy into the propaganda that has been put about since forever by male owned and operated companies that have done an excellent job continuing the myth that a woman’s natural cycle is somehow an unclean and shameful thing. We need to get over this ladies…just take a look at the HUGE profits these companies are making, both diaper and feminine care companies. Profits made at the expense of our environment and health.
I get you on the diapers and the environmental impact (though it depends on if you live where water is an issue – not so cut and dried).
But 30 months of diapers is about $1200 (approximately $40 a month), not $2000-3000. (Of course, my older son was in pullups for a long time after 3 and my younger son is not quite potty trained at 2.5).
I bought a Diva cup about 5 years ago and it’s still in the box. 🙁 Should try it.
A doula is a labor or postpartum helper, not a midwife. She does not do anything medical. A labor doula assists with relaxation, positioning, encouragement, massage, negotiates with medical staff so mom can remain in “labor land.” Women who are able to achieve natural birth often discribe going deep inside themselves and being unaware of the passage of time – congnitive thought / speech brings them up out of this state of meditation & increases pain.
In contrast, a midwife is medically trained to handle normal birth, including managment of emergencies. While trained under the belief that pregnancy, labor, and birth are normal, not pathology, midwives are as capable of attending birth as an obstetrician – and if you do the research, have better outcomes for both mother & baby as obstetricians! Go check birth statistics for our country (worst of any industrialized country) and compare to countries where midwifes are common!
JVC – former doula & childbirth educator, RN, and midwife student
Thanks for the clarification. My sister delivered all of her kids at home with the help of a midwife.
Also a doula here. We are not free. Not even the ones who are working towards certification.
Did you do ANY fact-checking on this… mash-up of words that you think kinda look good next to each other (apologies but can’t bring myself to call it a blog post or an article).
“Did you do ANY fact-checking on this …”
Um … not really, Tina. But this is the Internet; by definition, everything you read here is guaranteed to be the Gospel truth.
(Apparently you not only missed the irreverent tenor of the article, you also overlooked the link I included to an organization that promotes doula services.)
Oh, the tenor of the post wasn’t lost on me. My sense of humour is healthy, to say the least.
However, your tone wasn’t cheeky or funny…it was just dismissive and a tad disrespectful.
Hence, you’re getting emailed by doulas. A little education, to push back against common public misconceptions, is a wonderful thing.
😉
Also, yes, my original reply was knee-jerk. Doulas are up against a lot of misconceptions and a lot of us are out there working hard to elevate the profession.
Seeing a blog post going around, dismissing doulas as ‘basically midwives, as far as I can tell’ doesn’t help and had a funny-value of zero. Geeze, man, if you’re going to take the mickey, at least allow us to get a laugh out of it.
Anyway, my apologies for the knee-jerk response.
Apology accepted. Thank you.
OMG! Give it a rest Tina. Your complaining is only making YOU look thin skinned.
I have 8 cats and 1 dog (Maltese) and every one of them was a stray or adopted from a shelter. I believe pets adopted from a shelter or taken in as a stray make the best pets of all. You are also most likely saving a shelter animal from being killed since there are relatively few no-kill shelters. If you can find a reputable breeder and are unable to find the breed you want from a shelter then there is nothing wrong in paying a breeder. However, most people don’t do that research and too often purchase from puppy mills which are atrocious places. I encourage everyone to try to find an animal from a shelter; the cost is modest. The reason shelters require so much information from people and ‘check-up’ on them after the adoption is they are trying to ensure the animal goes to a good home and won’t end up neglected or back in a shelter in a few months. Anyone who objects to that probably isn’t a good candidate for pet ownership.
Regarding Elimination Communication with babies. It’s not the babies who do the learning, so much, as the parents who learn to recognize when the babies are about to “eliminate.”
There are many educational examples on you tube. Check it out.
I think you forgot about sex. You should never pay for it!
LOL! Excellent point, Alexandru. Excellent point.
Oh….you can pay for it, but don’t expect to turn it in on your next tax return… 😀
I would like to make a comment on breast milk. It is not only free, it is also the healthiest thing you can give to your baby. Plus the bonding between the you and your baby – Priceless!
“Elimination Communication” is total sh**. Pun fully intended, and appropriate.
Some shelter animals are there for a good reason because no one wants them because of bad behavior or biting or excessive barking, etc. I’ve adopted many shelter animals and unless they are babies, there is no guarantee they didn’t come from a horrible home and learned or were allowed to be bad or were so mistreated that they hide in fear all the time. I would not let my cat jump on the counter, but maybe the previous owner fed their cat on the counter and it will never stop doing that now. Also the SPCA in my town now charges per pound adoption fees, so if you have an adult dog who weighs 50lbs, that dog is going to cost way more to adopt than a puppy or a adult chihuahua which means they are more likely to be killed due to the cost to adopt them. This per pound adoption is totally crazy…is this a meat packing plant…should we put stickers on them that say $20.99/lb. I can’t remember what the price was, but it was something close to a few hundred dollars for a small mutt. I’d rather pay a quality breeder to get a purebred puppy than pay $300 or more for a mutt or an alley cat. I’d rather find a homeless cat and take it in than pay this new per pound fee. Even the shelter for cats has started to take dogs now and charges a much higher rate to adopt an animal than they used to. When it used to be the Feline Foundation, I adopted a female cat for $75, but she was microchipped and spayed already, so it was worth the cost. I even told them I’d take 2 cats and they still told me I only had to pay $75 total. So I actually got 1 cat for free. There’s no way the SPCA would give me an extra cat for free even though I was basically helping them by taking 2 animals instead of 1.
By the way, sex is not free either. If you are married or in a relationship, it still costs you money every month to keep the relationship working so that sex is still a possibility. Food, shelter, clothing, daily expenses, health care, reproductive check ups like pap smears, prostate exams, testicular cancer screenings, douche, condoms, birth control pills, etc are all the price we all pay for sex on a regular basis. If the sex results in children, then you are really paying a high price for sex. Think about that people.
I would never pay for a doula. It just sounds like a bunch of crap to me. Besides I had a C section, so there was no labor going on. Only the father can be in the room while you have a C section anyway.
Our newspaper charges you $10 to get the online newspaper. Plus the newspaper doesn’t only serve the purpose of reading the news. Can you lay the internet down on the floor for puppies to pee on if they had an accident while you were gone? No. I’d rather have an actual newspaper to look at because you can take it with you and no computer required. It also gives my daughter something to tear up when she’s feeling destructive and it’s not the roll of toilet paper. It’s just paper that would go in the recycle bin after we’re done with it anyway.
You always pay for sex – one way or the other.
That’s always been my experience.
1st off… Len, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!!! I read often but tend to stay in the background, but I must say, please do not stop writing, you are funny, insightful, and informative to boot!!!! Yay! for LenP.com!!!
Katt: I could not agree more! I was 21 when I had my son & I promptly requested he be in cloth diapers. They are, like you point out, much cheaper, and not only better for the environment, but your babies booty as well. Being not only a young mother, but a Marine’s wife as well I got a LOT of “what is your baby wearing there?” & “isn’t is gross washing them?” (we were gifted a diaper service which requested that we only put the dirty ones in a bin & leave it out once a week, yup even the poopies, it made it all the eaiser). I swear by cloth & actually converted three friends. My son was 5 1/2 when I had his little sister in 2010 & again, we opted for cloth, neither of my children has ever had a rash! And now a days, diaper services are cheap if you are grossed out or too lazy to wash them, used diapers & supplies flood craigslist and eBay, and even if you buy your own, they will more than likely last thru all your new bottoms! Like I said, my son was 5 1/2 & his little sister used his! I love cloth & highly recommend it to anyone & everyone with children. Not to mention, I swear cloth babies potty train faster!!! Also your “time of the month” mention is worth praise as well, I agree that washable & eco friendly pads are a great idea, and not only can you lower class military wives (like me!) find them for cheaper than $250 dollars (because let’s face it, 1/3 of a paycheck is a bit much for me! But, you can also sew your own!! If I hadn’t had a hysterectomy, I would defiantly use these!!! I’m all about reusables!!!
Also, whomever said it, you are very correct, one way or another, you always pay for sex, be it dinner & a movie, or a wedding, or children, you will at some point be forking over some (scrilla, dough, cheddar, or bones, you pick Len) for that booty! Unless, of course you’re a woman. In which case, we never pay for it 😉 crappy double standard, I know, but at least you guys can lift heavy s@$t & eat whatever you want without gaining a pound, not to mention the whole, “skipping out on childbirth” thing (ha! Women DO pay for sex!).
It’s like I always tell the Red Cross when I donate blood and they ask if I’ve ever been given “money or goods for sex”? I always say, very seriously, “Yes, all the time, I’m a stay home wife & mother!” I LOVE the look I get, but in fact, when you figure my husband pays the bills, which I then payback with sex (or cookies), then I guess I sort of am a hooker. I can live with that though… at least I can wear cute shoes! 😉
-Nikolette
I see my iPhones auto correct is out to make me look like a moron again!
Let me correct the following;
Diaper services ARE (not ate) cheap!
You can also SEW (not dew) your own!
thanks a lot apple, because the bottle blonde doesn’t make people think I’m stupid enough, you have to auto correct me into kindergarten?
🙂
Well … I’m speechless — and that’s not easy to do. 🙂
Nikolette, I can honestly say this one of the best comments I have ever received!
Three cheers for you!!! 🙂
(And I fixed your typos for you. It’s the least I could do for the wife of a US Marine! Please pass along my heartfelt thank you to your husband for his service.)
I would like to look for a free meal, can anyone help?
Buy the Sunday Newspaper at the Dollar store…still has coupons and in my case cheaper than subscribing.
Where in the hell do you get a fee-free credit card!? O.o Never heard of that. And free checking is now a thing of the past. They all rip you off, unless you can jump thru the hoops and limited reqmts to belong to a credit union you pay thru the roof for banking. Welcome to 2001!
What are you talking about? I own no-fee credit cards. And here is a big list of no-fee cards I found in ten seconds via a simple Google search:
http://www.creditcards.com/no-annual-fee.php
Guess what — I have a free checking account too. Oh, yes. Granted, an LA Times survey in 2013 found that only 3 in 10 checking accounts are now free, so they’re harder to find, but they’re out there for those who are willing to use the Internet and take a few minutes to do a little research.
Welcome to 2014! 😉
I used to avail gym membership, but after some time, I realized that I could do it at home. Now I no longer go there and just exercise at home. I have some equipment. It’s worth it and saves me much money.
Good list! I think you can add magazine subscriptions too. You can buy back covers at a much cheaper price.
Well, I will say that while some things are free in a particular locality or circumstances, one may need to pay in another elsewhere. I actually like the post.
Adding to your great advice on #6 (Credit Reports): If you are married, you can alternate getting your and your spouse’s credit reports such that you get one every 2 months. I just put a note in my Gmail calender to remind me to start doing this!
Great article! Wow, so much (mis)information in comments.
Well water is not only free (bc the well lasts approximately forever, what’s $1500 to drill& case/ several million months of no water bill? & no bottled water…? essentially free), the health benefits of not drinking chlorine bleach are worth it– if it tastes funny, filter it! However, we did pay to drill the well & our largest ongoing utility bill is paying to pump the water to the surface (seriously, we make or ecoharvest almost– not cell phones– everything else– pumping well water is our weak link. Yes we have a treadle pump– free gym!– no, we have not hooked it up. yet.) It requires care and maintenance (like your home, pets, other investments)- we share an aquifer with many neighbors including one abandoned, uncased well… so every heavy downpour backwashes cowfield runoff into everyone’s water. Yes, we do buy water sometimes, or we boil, cool, & filter– no longer so free).
EC– did that with #4 out of 4. Highly recommend it, although many ECers like me, use cloth diapers while waiting for the training to be complete– no carpet cleaning expense. We love green mountain diapers– after 4 cloth bummy babies, the GMD unbleached flats last longest for the money. Some went thru all 4 babies and are still excellent car wash/ dust rags. Yes, some fringe mums who love to be comfy, clean, & save a buck use cloth female products or silicone mooncups. It’s a thing now.
A child is NOT a price you pay for enjoying sex. S/he is a blessing and a bonus. If you do not feel that way about children, either abstain or be triple careful! Seriously. Accept the expense of 3 methods. I know 2 little boys who exist bc 2 methods together didn’t work.
A good doula is worth more than her weight in gold & worth far more than I have ever seen any of them charge. My doula did not advocate for me as much as she prolly should have, however, the support she was able to provide was priceless as I was being bullied and punished by “a licensed professional” and she was there when I needed her. If you have a sister/ friend/ etc who you feel can help in this way for free, by all means, bring her. Most women do not. I did have a female family member present, but she would not have known which homeopathic to give me when I felt like giving up or when to attempt Walcher’s technique (or even what it is). My doula (who is also a licensed midwife) did.
Exercise– my son is the most physically fit person I have ever seen. No gym. No equipment. No expense. Weather permitting, he runs/ does a self-designed workout outside. Otherwise inside. Sit-ups are free, people. So is yoga & pilates. Check out a book or video on it from your local library! Rather than go to the gym & try to attract ladies who are in the spoiled habit of spending too much or are there just to “be seen,” he gets in shape & offers to run/ workout with like-minded friends, so he won’t end up supporting an HMI (high maintenance individual). His entire PE training was FREE via homeschool by his(now rather out-of-shape) mum. He is not unusual in this, as many of his peers (from various types of schools) often work out with him.
Newspapers– split the difference & read them for free– again at the library! Or coffee shop or w/e. Then if you need them for puppy pads or crafts, call your local newspaper office & pick up stacks and stacks of their extras for free!
Pets– we pay for dogs, not for cats– DON’T SHOOT! There is a reason! Our dogs are LGDs– working dogs. They simply MUST come from well-mannered, affectionate, & *working* parents & be trained from birth by the working parents to be effective. People (I have never found a puppy mill pumping out LGDs– too much time & expense involved for the breeder) do charge money for these puppies & they are well worth it– it is a sacrifice for the owner to have mum *not* in the fields for a time to complete her pregnancy and early nursing, etc, not to mention the food bill for a 150# great pyrenees dam nursing approx 300# of puppies! It’s like a massive dog-food-eating-machine for a time. Mine have stood up to black bears, wolves, coyotes, big cats to protect the lambs, chickens, other livestock, & would do far more to protect my children. Cats in my area (& we do love ours) are very overpopulated, and can be had for free, or picked up as strays. We have one from a neighbor’s litter, one wandered in, and one was dumped on another neighbor’s porch. If they couldn’t be had for free, we would likely pay for them bc to us, they are well worth the expense to acquire and care for them (incl fixing them!)
Open Office? Ugh! Yes, save a buck if you think you can stand it!
Free shipping? Who knew?
Thanks again for your insight & for the DONA link C;
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further write ups thank you once again.
Seven ages of man (abridged!) from Shakespeare:
…At first the infant,
Mewling and puking (and pooping in his diapers,) in the nurses arms
…Last scene of all Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. (and, once again pooping in a diaper
https://www.diapersamerica.com/incontinence-news/adult-diapers-to-outsell-baby-diapers-in-japan/
Society tends to overlook us oldsters, here as elsewhere