Merry Christmas my a$$. If this means I’m going to be coughing up $750 per month for the next 7 years, I would rather have gotten a nice tie … or some underwear and socks.
I remember the worst gift I ever received. It was a vacation to the Bahamas that an old girlfriend of mine gave to me. It was one of those too-good-to-be-true ultra-low-cost package “deals” that was exactly that — too good to be true. Our “hotel” was in a Freeport ghetto and it rained incessantly. In fact, the trip was so bad that we ultimately came home after three days.
Speaking of terrible gifts, several years ago, a British charity organization, The Brooke, conducted a study to find out the most unwelcome Christmas gifts.
No, package-deal vacations didn’t make their list, but these ten items did:
1. Bubble bath
2. Bath salts
3. Socks
4. Candles
5. Belgian chocolates
6. Knitwear
7. Books
8. Ties
9. Moisturizer
10. Movies you’ve already seen
Gifts Aren’t Supposed to Cost the Recipient Money
Personally, I don’t see the problem with many of those so-called dubious gifts listed above.
Okay, I lied. I would definitely end up regifting knitwear. As for the moisturizer and bath products, well, I’d probably just pass those on to the Honeybee.
Still, I’d argue that it’s not fair to have expectations or requirements for a gift. That’s because, by definition, a gift is supposed to be something that is given to you for free.
You know, it takes some real chutzpah to pooh-pooh a free gift that somebody cared enough to get for you.
I know what you’re thinking: But, Len, you just belittled the gift your girlfriend gave you. Hypocrite!
Well, to paraphrase a famous Frenchman whose name escapes me at the moment: au contraire!
See, I said it takes chutzpah to pooh pooh a free gift. Free. F-R-E-E. As in: “costing nothing.”
Before I could take advantage of the trip my girlfriend gave me, I had to shell out money for the airfare to Fort Lauderdale — and that’s just one of several other expenses that weren’t included in my “all expenses paid” vacation.
Now I know it’s tough coming up with great gift ideas, but it’s important that you don’t out-think yourself by getting a gift that ends up costing somebody money they’ll need to pay down the road.
In addition to the previously-mentioned vacation package, here are three more examples:
1. Automobiles.
Initial Recipient Reaction: “I absolutely LOVE IT, Sweetheart! Who wants to go for a ride!”
Likely Morning-After Musings: “It looks like I’ve been taken for a ride.”
Remorse Meter: The idiot light is ON.
Comments: Every time I see one of those commercials where the happy housewife looks outside the window at her brand new luxury car in the driveway — complete with an over-the-top red bow that would be two sizes too big for King Kong — I have to laugh. So why does hubby have such a smug smile on his face? Unless he paid for that car up front (unlikely) his wife is going to be saddled with making monthly car payments for several years at least. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving.
2. Puppies, kittens and other pets.
Initial Recipient Reaction: “Oh, she’s absolutely adorable!”
Likely Morning-After Musings: “That was my brand new couch, not a scratching post!”
Remorse Meter: Gagging on a hairball.
Comments: Giving someone a pet as a gift is probably the purest example of presumptuousness I can think of. Pets are an imposition on people; they not only require lots of money to keep healthy, they are a huge commitment.
3. Laptop computers.
Initial Recipient Reaction: “Oh, Honey, it’s absolutely perfect!”
Likely Morning-After Musings: “What do you mean it didn’t come with [fill in the blank]?”
Remorse Meter: Keyboard is missing. Press F1 to continue.
Comments: While a laptop computer usually comes with a built-in keyboard (well, at least the good ones do), there are several items that aren’t included. For example, most owners who care about their laptop will probably want to buy a case. Many folks will also realize that they hate using the little touch pad and so they’ll end up having to pay extra for a wireless mouse as well. Those two items alone can end up costing an additional $100 or more, depending on the quality of the accessories.
As for my old girlfriend, although her heart was certainly in the right place at the time, she will always have the dubious honor of giving me the worst gift I ever received — and, no, that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she unceremoniously dumped me a couple of years later.
Okay, okay … Maybe just a little.
Photo Credit: Lexus
My friends and I are negotiating a suitable and geographically fair drop off point for the dud chocolates. We’ll even write thank you notes to the appropriate parties.
What we absolutely don’t want for Christmas. (Family and friends take note.)
Battery operated toys. Those little sticky guys from the dollar store you throw on a wall and creep down on their own.
Art supplies intended for children. Oil based clay. Glitter. Paint by number kits. Pastels. Finger paint. (No Sis, red does not “just wash out”.)
Chia pets. Famous last words, “I thought you watered it.” Along similar lines, Christmas Cactus. The instuctions indicated it’s a tempermental warm weather plant. It died. Also African Violets and Advacados grown from seeds. They also died.
Single function tools. Nutmeg grater. Lemon reamer. Onion chopper. Smoothie maker. Tea bag squeezer.
Fingerless gloves. Socks with toes.
Unprepared food from a dinner guest. “I thought you could just throw it in the oven with some fresh lemon juice, fresh chopped parsley, and a little olive oil to serve tonight.”
Anything with candied fruit in it.
Good ones Olivia! I don’t want anything that says “As seen on TV!” on the product package.
I think it is important to know the person to whom you are gifting. One of my good friends paid $17,000 for one of those tubs that you can open the door and walk into. She loves bubble bath so I always get her a couple of sets a year. One thing I would say is if you know a collector, don’t assume he or she wants another dolphin or wolf. Maybe he or she is trying to taper off on collecting. On the automobile commercials, I sure hope the wife isn’t now having to make the payment when the husband picked it out and bought it for her! Oh, what about buying someone a satellite radio – what is it that XM Radio? Maybe buying someone a receiver for the car and then they have to pay a monthly subscription. That’s a bad idea.
Len,
You should never look a gift horse in the mouth. 🙂
I give socks and underwear to my wife and kids every Christmas. Of course, I also get them nice gifts, as well. At first, they thought it was lame. But, now they have grown up and they appreciate it and even expect it. I’m just happy my son doesn’t have to go commando at work.
lol So you caused the shortage! I went in a major department store, and the men’s t-shirts, socks, and underwear were wiped out. Good gift for some men. If they work hard, you know they’re in need. Just make sure it’s their style.
Every year, brother’s mother-in-law gave him string bikini underwear for Christmas. He hated them. lol
What if you brought the chocolates back from Belgium with you? I actually like getting chocolate and socks and some books (but not the ones in the coffee table isle..real ones).
I’d say another place not to shop is the middle aisle of a department store, you know the place where they have all the seasonal gift items like tie organizers and gimmicky stuff.
Last place not to shop is your kid’s fund drive magazine. You know the one that peddles 5 pound tubs of cookie dough and random other stuff.
Alright, I never talk about my personal life on here but I had to chime in.
A certain someone – if you read our blog, you don’t have to be too smart to figure out who – bought me a satellite radio receiver for Christmas 5 years ago. (We’re Howard Stern fans, and this was for his much-anticipated switch to Sirius.)
The receiver cost like $50. However, it wasn’t compatible with my truck. And it would have replaced, not just augmented, my existing AM/FM. And it didn’t come with an install kit. And the install kit I had to buy required me to drill a hole in my liftgate, which meant I had to suck it up and go to a professional install place (Tweeter, RIP.) Which botched the job so I had to go to their other location across town. Which they charged me double for, which meant I had to apply to corporate for a refund. Which was hard for them to do, seeing as they were in Chapter 13 and went defunct a few weeks later.
Oh, and I had to buy a subscription, too. Her $50 gift ended up costing me >$1000.
Since then, we now have a hard and fast rule. I can buy her gifts, but she can’t buy me any under any circumstances.
It’s not Chanukkah without out sock and underwear night!
Everyone who is Jewish knows this. LOL
It’s not Christmas without socks and underwear (and maybe pajamas) wrapped up nice and fancy just like the gifts you really want!
You can send me Belgian chocolates ANY DAY!
I have received a sweatshirt with the ink tag still attached, numerous ugly sweaters, and the Michael Jackson ‘Bad’ album. I would add those to the list.
anyone from outside my immediate family (i.e. not within the family budget) with inclinations to give me laptops and/or cars would be my favorite person for the whole next year.
I think similar thoughts when seeing those commercials where the guy points out the window, holding his wife, suprising her with her brand new car with a super sized bow on it. Like you alluded to, I think of how he probably gifted her with an equally beautiful and charming 5 year loan. What a kind and considerate gift:)
2 years ago my daughter surprised me with a kitten for my birthday. **Best gift ever**
Even Mr. “Don’t buy me gifts” melted at the sight of her big blue eyes and little white socks.
It’s like a Control Your Cash reality show, right here on Len’s blog 🙂
Every year I get bubble bath products, and every year I just re-gift them during “Secret Santa” parties. I know, that’s so tacky, but you’d be surprised to know that people sometimes fight over the silliest things.
A pet is also a cruddy gift if the parents already cannot pay their bills on time and the breed eats minimum $10/week in dog food. What horrible grandparents.
I’m not sure I agree about the laptop. Those are optional accessories and would you really complain if someone bought you a laptop? It’s not an ongoing expense.
I would replace it with cell phone – with a nice contract. The bigger the data plan the recipient has to pay for, the better!
Also, anything you give with the expectation that the person use it regularly in your presence, or otherwise prove that they use and/or like it.
Well, I disagree with just about all of the “terrible” gifts. I’m a librarian who goes through an average of three books a week – books are always welcome. I also love soaking in bubble baths and bath salts and lotions, and my sister and I both love oddball socks. I married a fellow chocoholic, and he’s Belgian, so yes, Belgian chocolates – or any good chocolate – is most welcome. I also wear sweaters a lot, so as long as they’re not tacky, I am happy with knitwear. We also do buy a lot of movies we have already seen – classics we want to watch several times. Okay, ties are useless in our household – my husband last wore one 20 years ago on our wedding day. But otherwise, I really think this is more like my “what I want for Christmas” list! And as far as books being unwelcome – well, I guess it depends which books, but I think it’s telling
Candles are the most regifted gifts of all. I have never regifted a candle. A bunch of them are gathering dust in my house. Maybe I should start regifting, but I am not sure a dusty candle would be a nice gift.
Your vacation story reminds me of the sweaters I used to get as gifts. I think they must have been very cheap – for a good reason. The good news is that I can use these sweaters at the start of marathons to keep warm before I start running. The sweaters end up as donations to a clothing bank. So, they come in as a useful gift twice.
I like Belgian Chocolates! And I know a couple of persons who like getting socks – if it is not the only gift you give… But I don’t like having candles and I don’t like getting spices, coffee mugs, souvenir spoons or another “My only use is getting the dust” kind of thing, unless I asked for those (which would be very surprising).
I love books! I can’t believe this is on the list. Worse case situation, you get a book you don’t want to read and you have to go exchange it for one you do want.
Another thing to add to the list: Clothing picked out by grandparents.
Love the car example, Len. What if you buy the wrong thing, then are stuck with 5 years of luxury car style payments and similarly high insurance?! Who wants that for christmas – it’s like the gift that keeps on taking.
As far as the terrible gifts list, I dont think those things are all that bad.
First of all, everybody please send their unwanted chocolates and books my way! 🙂
I think that any gift given without the recipient in mind sucks. Bubble bath and rock salts are awesome for my friend Tonia since she loves soaking but they would suck for me since I do not. Books are great for me but sucky for whoever wrote that list. A pet is a great gift if everybody agreed on it in advance and wanted a pet, but it’s cruddy from an extended family member if the poor parents end up having to take care of something that the kids ignore.
It’s all a matter of perspective and thoughtfulness. 🙂
Your crappy vacation present sucks no matter who you are, lol. I’m glad you found Honeybee!
Dear Budgeting In the Fun Stuff,
My friends and I agree with you about the chocolates. Maybe we could make a direct deal with the Brits who don’t want them for Christmas. They can have Hersheys. We’ll take the Belgian.
My husband’s grandmother gives her grandchildren toilet paper and a 12 pack of Coca Cola every Christmas. The first year we were dating, I thought, “WTF!?” Now I really appreciate the toilet paper. It serves as back-up when one of us forgets to stop by the store on the way home. :-p
On pets as gifts, I think they make awful *surprise* gifts, but if an adult asks for a puppy for Christmas, I think it’s okay to assume they’ve thought through the continued cost of pet upkeep. Pets as presents for children though? No way, Jose. I think that’s the worst idea there is. Children don’t need to associate a living creature with the other toys they receive Christmas morning – which are likely discarded after two months of play.
I bet during the COVID hoarding, you were really thankful for Granny. lol
One of our regional vice presidents at work bought her husband a limited edition truck out of the blue and gave it to him. Maybe even with a red bow on top! So there are people out there that do those purchases. Although, she also wears a +7 carat diamond ring on her hand, so I think they probably have the money.
As for me, I like practical gifts. Something I will use tops the list every time. My wife loves books and kitchen things. I’d say we are both fairly easy.
I love getting socks! Especially when theyre the really cozy (and expensive) padded running or hiking socks – hope that I get a couple of pairs under the tree this year.
The Honeybee likes getting socks for Christmas, Betsy. In fact, I’d probably be in the dog house if I forgot to put a few in her stocking every year. (Yes, I know. I put stockings in her stockings.)
I see you’re getting a lot of comments on this one, Len!
Please send all chocolate, books and fruitcake my way.
Meanwhile, I don’t recommend buying any clothing for grown ups, unless they specifically request it and tell you the exact color and size. Maybe that’s why so many people end up giving neckties and scarves!
Ah ha! So you’re the person who likes fruitcake, Sassy! The next one I get is going straight to your mailbox!
Why would I give someone a movie they HADN’T seen. It’s not like I’m buying them tickets to a theater. If I’m buying a movie for them, it better be one I know they like and that they’ll want to watch over and over again.
As for pets, I don’t think they make good surprise gifts, but I did write a guest post for a pet blog last year on situations where I think they are fine gifts- but that in general requires all adults in the family to be on the same page.
“Why would I give someone a movie they HADNT seen?”
Agreed, Erin. Especially if it was that awful George Clooney movie, The Good German.
Kia (the car maker) is advertising a promotion: if you buy a car from them, they’ll deliver it to your home on Xmas morning. That saves you from the “trouble” of needing to “hide” the gift in the days leading up to Christmas.
Of course, it does nothing to address the problem that you’ve just bought a brand-new Kia.
Great…now I’m re-thinking a laptop purchase I wanted to make for the holidays. Need a new computer, man!
I absolutely HATE those auto ads. I make fun of them consistently and have made them one of my Christmas post pet peeves. I think luxury auto ads should be banned for November and December…
My brother in law bought his wife a new Lexus complete with red bow not for Christmas but for Valentines day. But he made the payments and they were going to trade vehicles anyway. Sadly, his wife got cancer and couldn’t drive it much and passed away when the car had just 15,000 miles on it. He couldn’t bear to sell the car to a stranger or take it back to the dealer so it sat in his garage for a year after her death. Ultimately, my husband and I bought it from him and we were all happy with the deal.
Hard to believe that “Most Unwelcome Gifts” list doesn’t include fruitcake! In our family there’s a tale of a fourth Wise Man who wasn’t allowed in the stable because he brought fruitcake (and that same fruitcake it still out there being re-gifted to this day…) ;o)
LOL! If I had thought of this, it most certainly would have been in there, Lauren!
One thing to consider is that people grow older and their tastes may change with age. Sure, I loved bubble bath and bath salts at one time, but I can no longer climb in and out of the tub. And I was already a senior citizen when my aunt sent me a set of the Little Golden Books I loved as a child. What am I supposed to do with them now?
Beware of the passive-aggressive gift, too. I had a family member who gave diet books, gym memberships, and pricey clothing two sizes too small to encourage me to lose weight. I gave it all away.
On the good side: I didn’t care about scented candles before, but now love them and melt them on a warmer so I can enjoy the scent many times. I’ll also take any chocolates, fruitcake and baked goods, since I no longer bake. Fragrance is welcome, IF it’s one that I already love and wear.
My most welcome gift? A book of postage stamps. They’re expensive now and are always needed.
I believe the military should buy all surplus fruit cakes. They can save them for 5 years. Then use them as weapons.
If you want to do something nice for me, send me a pretty Christmas card. The ones with sparkles make me smile.
I send a big box of navel oranges to cousin’s family. They like them. I send a friend a book by his favorite author, a warm flannel shirt in his favorite color, and a few other things. He loves all of it.
I told everyone else, I am not doing Christmas gifts this year.
The greatest gift you can give someone is love.
Love the navel oranges idea, Bill. I remember as a good going to the Sunkist farm in Redlands (SoCal) and getting giant bags of fresh navels. Nothing better!