Yeah, those are cute Halloween costumes, but they’ll cost you a pretty penny.
So the Honeybee took our two kids out shopping for Halloween costumes this week and spent a grand total of $69.43. This is not only a ghastly amount of money to spend on Halloween costumes, but it’s totally unacceptable in my opinion.
What, exactly, did we get for that amount of money?
Well, this year Matthew is going to be something called “Scream-o,” which is apparently based on that famous Edvard Munch painting, “The Scream.” Meanwhile, Nina is going to be a Gothic witch. (Actually, is there really any other kind?)
Oh well, it’s too late now — I know I’m not going to be the ghoul that breaks my kids’ hearts by telling them that they have to take their costumes back to the store because Daddy is cheap frugal.
Next year if I get my way — which I probably won’t — my kids are going to get their Halloween costumes at Dad’s Costume Shop, not Party City. Unlike Party City, Dad’s Costume Shop will consist of Halloween costumes that all cost under a buck. How far under a buck? Well, I’ve already designed six costumes and they are all exactly one dollar under a buck!
Uh huh. In other words: free!
Now that’s what I call a reasonably priced Halloween costume.
Anyway, here’s a sneak peak at my brand new Halloween costume line. And as a public service, all of these designs are officially Len Penzo dot Com share-wear. I refuse to take a single penny in royalties for this stuff. You’re welcome.
Little League Bench Warmer
Key Costume Components: Your kid’s Little League uniform from this past summer.
Party City Price: $32.99
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: $32.99
Comment: To make the costume scary, tape a stat sheet to Junior’s back that highlights his .121 batting average.
Pitiful Ghost
Key Costume Components: The back side of an old Twister game (why ruin a sheet?)
Party City Price: $19.99
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: $19.99
Comment: A timeless classic. For those kids who don’t want to ruin their Twister game, the eye holes are optional.
Malpracticing Veterinarian
Key Costume Components: An old coat, a pocket protector, and the family dog.
Party City Price: $27.99
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: $27.99
Comment: Although not as authentic, kids without a live pet can use a stuffed animal.
Sophisticated Rock Star
Key Costume Components: Sunglasses
Party City Price: $24.99
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: $24.99
Comment: The King of Cool. If mom or dad doesn’t smoke, make a fake cigarette from a piece of paper.
Environmentalist Gym Rat
Key Costume Components: Sweat bands, a tank top and some old gym shorts.
Party City Price: $32.99
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: $32.99
Comment: Save money and the environment by toting an actual glass of water rather than bottled H2O.
The School Dunce
Key Costume Components: A simple dunce hat made from a sheet of paper.
Party City Price: Not available
Dad’s Costume Shop Price: Free!
Savings: Not applicable
Comment: Heh. Nobody will be calling you stupid after you tell them how much you spent on this one.
As for me, this year I’m going as a streaker. After all, when it comes to Halloween costumes, it doesn’t get any cheaper than that.
Lucky for me this year’s Halloween forecast in my neck of the woods is 71 degrees with clear skies. And a full moon, of course.
Photo Credit: Juhan Sonin
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(This article was originally published on October 25, 2009.)
Come on now! Where’s the picture of YOUR costume Len? lol
I imagine these costume ideas aren’t going to be very popular.
Halloween is a big social event and having a lame costume has to be avoided at all costs.
The great news for me is that my daughter just got her first job. So, she can now afford to buy her own costume. π I hope it’s not too trampy.
@Jennifer: Mine was way too scary to show on this blog. π But thanks for your interest!
@Bret: What? Are you calling my designs “LAME?” I’m hurt. I actually put a lot – okay, a little bit – of effort into designing these costumes. Even if they ARE lame, you have to admit the price is right – unless you think they are so lame that FREE! would still be considered overpaying. Please don’t answer that. π
As a past little leaguer, I burst out laughing @ “Comment: To make the costume scary, tape a stat sheet to Juniors back that highlights his .121 batting average.”
Oh, you never cease to please π
Yeah, MLR, that one definitely hit close to home for me too! π
Len,
I only meant LAME from the standpoint of the kids.
For us married folks, who have no social life, free is always preferred.
I have been wearing my Desert Storm fatigues ever since I lost the bomber jacket.
Wow hilarious π great ideas