Yes, there are a lot of Halloween treats kids hate to get in their goody bags.
Back when I was a kid, every year at Halloween I’d come home from my trip around the neighborhood and eagerly empty the booty I had plundered from my neighbors onto the kitchen table.
Most of it was the typical fare like the miniature Halloween candy bars. However, I’d also get a few unexpected items; some were really awesome Halloween treats. Others were not.
One year I even got a rock in my bag — just like Charlie Brown. I’m not kidding. I just wish I knew who did it; then I could have gone back and toilet-papered their lawn. Oh well.
Anyway, with that in mind, I decided to survey my kids, Matthew and Nina, to find out some of the worst stuff folks in our neighborhood have tossed in their Halloween bags over the years.
Although they never received any rocks, they came up with the following list of yucky “treats” that — as far as they’re concerned — were almost as bad:
Mints
Are you kidding me? Why not just hand out travel size tubes of toothpaste? “They’re not even candy, Dad!” says Nina. She’s got a point. Save the mints for Christmas, people.
Mystery candy
Like most parents, the Honeybee and I go through our kids’ candy before they get the okay to eat it. Although we’ll usually let certain candies pass that are unlabeled but safe to eat, the kids have a different opinion. Nina refuses to eat candy she is not familiar with.
Baby Ruth
Both of my kids say a Baby Ruth has too many peanuts. That’s an understatement; a Baby Ruth is not a candy bar, folks — it’s a peanut-industry research and development experiment gone awry.
Jaw breakers
According to Nina, jawbreakers are “too much work.” She also says the sour powdery finish at the center of the jawbreaker is not her idea of fun either.
5-Flavor Life-Savers
I have to admit, when it comes to Halloween treats kids hate, this one was a bit of a surprise to me. My daughter says the biggest problem with 5-flavor Lifesavers is that the flavors don’t match the colors. I agree. Red doesn’t taste like cherries, and the purple doesn’t taste like grapes. By the way, whose idea was it to make grape candy taste the way it does?
Nerds
Really? Colored balls filled with sugary powder is not my kids’ idea of great candy. Mine neither.
Taffy
The biggest complaint with taffy — which includes taffy-like confections such as Tootsie Rolls — is that you’re supposed to stay away from it if you have braces. For kids with a mouth full of dental hardware, it can arguably be the cruelest treat of all.
Any candy with coconut.
The consensus here is that coconut candy is good, but only in small quantities. Nina’s biggest complaint is that after she eats more than a couple, she has to give the rest away because the taste of coconut becomes too “overpowering.” For what it’s worth, when it comes to Almond Joy versus Mounds, my son feels like a nut; Nina doesn’t.
Halloween pencils
Pencils taste bad and can put splinters in your tongue. I’m sure that’s why they usually get tossed in a drawer, unused, and never to be seen again.
Black licorice
Nina says it tastes too much like rubber. I wonder if Goodyear knows about this.
Pretzels
Matthew’s biggest complaint is that they’re usually stale. Besides, it’s Halloween; so can we just give the healthy snacks a rest for one day? Please? What’s next — celery stalks?
Gum
Aside from the fact that kids with braces can’t chew it, Nina says she hates gum because, “It makes my mouth tired.” (See: Jaw breakers.) And, if that’s not enough Nina has a few other complaints: a) it loses its flavor too fast; b) you have to be careful how you get rid of it; and c) “it makes you more thirsty.”
Old Easter candy
I kid you not, folks; a few years ago both of my kids got chocolate bunnies in their Halloween bag. After all, nothing says “cheapskate” like recycled stale Easter candy. And my kids knew exactly which house passed them out too. I was absolutely dumbfounded. Believe it or not, the next morning that home’s lawn was covered in toilet paper.
What? Hey, now … Don’t look at me.
ALSO SEE: 10 Unique Halloween Treats That Kids Love – But Rarely Get
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(This is a repost of an article that was originally published on April 20, 2011.)
Photo Credit: narcosislabs
I would have gone bonkers for coconut myself, but anything chocolate is tops with me. I had a system of saving the best for last. A good haul could last a month or more. Toss the starlight mints and licorice, eat the jawbreakers, gum, caramels, and hard fruit flavored candy, then do the chocolate with nuts, plain chocolate, lastly the mounds, almond joys (eating the almonds first, I prefer milk chocolate).
Very cool! Halloween is the best holiday!
Very interesting! My friend, Andy, eats his dinner the way you eat Halloween candy. He eats each item on the plate in its entirety before moving on to the next. For example, first the mashed potatoes, then the asparagus, then the roast beef, then the apple sauce. If it’s fast food, the french fries always go first. Oh, and I have always been a dark chocolate lover. Ever try a Reese’s peanut butter cup with dark chocolate? Heaven!
This is all just too funny
Now I agree on the tic tacs, but I notice your dd loves erasers but has something against the pencils . . . goodness – my 7yo is all about fancy pencils.
As for baby ruth . . . really? We LOVE them! On the other hand my kids would use a popcorn ball to play fetch with the dog . . .
I could see your point (though not necessarily agree with you) up to Nerds – then you lost you all credibility. Nerds – how can you not like them, unbelievable.
For my kids it was the Smarties. Noboby liked the mouthful of powder taste. They kicked around in the cupboard for months until I got tired and threw them away.
What!?
I love those things!
If you get any this year send them my way!
My son once got one of those mini 4 ounce cans of green chilis. I’m still trying to figure out which neighbor gave it to him.
I dunno…. I used to love some Nerds when I was a kid. I used to get that and Fun Dip at the snack bar at the pool.
Someone was telling a story recently about a friend who had some trick or treaters come by one halloween. He didn’t have any candy but was still compelled to give them something. So he went to the freezer and pulled out some English Muffins and stuck them way at the bottom of the kids bags.
Love this post!!! My turn to chime in… I think black licorice is the worst! Baby Ruths always went straight to the trash too when I was a kid. Somebody said Smarties – another loser! You’re right about the pencils. I’ve got about a half dozen of them in my office from past Halloweens. The kids never use them.
I was never a big fan, but it sure was popular when I was a kid. Seemed like everybody but me liked Good n Plenty candy and black licorice ropes. Maybe you can send your pencils to Cherie…
I love black licorice. Everyone can mail me theirs and I will eat every last piece of it!!
One Halloween I put medium sized dog bisquits in teenagers bags. Anyone over age 16 got them. I am fortunate that I didn’t get toilet papered.
I remember this one kid, he must have been about 17, standing out in the middle of the street saying: “That lady gave me a dawg bisquit!”
All candy is good in my book..except black licorice.
The old hag next door gives out pretzels. Surprisingly that was the first thing my son went for when he got home(maybe because it was the only salty thing in the bag).
You FORGOT FRUIT. Hasn’t anyone given apples? Gotta hate those.
OMG, I just read Spedies comment. Too funny. I too remember getting annoyed in high school and handing out candy to kids that were older than me. I wish I had thought of an “alternative” treat for them.
Well I noticed my Halloween pencils ended up in the ‘Yuck’ category. Next Halloween I’ll be sure to stick with erasers! Spedie’s comment is hilarious. I agree that there’s an age limit on Trick-or-Treaters!
I love coconut! I love 5 flavored life savers! I like Nerds! (although I feel awful if I eat more than like 7 of the little sugar clumps.)
I hated Mary Janes, Black Jacks, Baby Ruths and anything school related. Oh, and black licorice is the worst!
Haha! This is hilarious! You have to give out the good original candy. M&M’s, Reeses, snickers, hersheys, and even though you say no coconut Almond Joys. Thanks for the great post Len.
Remember the Wayne’s World worst halloween candy list? My favorite: Mung.
I hate candy corn. It is a terrible candy that only comes out on halloween – if it were good it would be around all year round!
I’m with Everyday Tips in that coconut candy, any kind of Life Savers, and Nerds are awesome. Black Licorice is disgusting. Strawberry Twizzlers are fantastic though.
I’m with Nina that jaw breakers are too much work.
I never thought of the taffy things and gum being torture for kids with braces. I’ll trade my Smarties and Hershey’s Kisses for all of their taffies…I love Tootsie Rolls and Airheads.
Yeah, I’m not diabetic yet…*doing a happy dance*. 🙂
I feel like a nut! Love that commercial.
I guess the old Easter candy is better than turning the porch light off and ignoring the doorbell…barely.
Len – A Mary Jane is like a Bit O Honey, but it is a peanut butter flavored glob that could pull out teeth.
I must be too old…
yup, “hurl”, hilarious!
I love Baby Ruths and Coconut based Candy :)….. Guess I can give you my address adn you can ship that stuff over this way 🙂
Sorry, Forest. I’ve got dibs on all the kids’ coconut candies they don’t eat!
Ha ha, must be a mature taste bud thing….. brussel sprouts and coconut candy.
I loved Almond Joys ever since I could remember around 5 or 6 I’m 26 with my own kids and tell them it’s “Coconut,” they usually back off 🙂
lol i m going to give kids 10 out of 13 halloween treats now on next halloween.. coconut candy ..hahaha
A few questions:
Do you really eat popcorn balls? My kids (and I love them), but I hear from some other parents that they toss in the trash anything that is homemade and not factory sealed, because of the potential for adulteration.
Ditto for apples getting tossed out — remember the scare (about 15 years ago?) of razor blades hidden in apples?
I tried to work around this by putting a label on the outside of the bag of homemade treats with “Happy Halloween from the Wolff family” (We made oatmeal raisin cookies).
Other suggestions for great treats: small toys, especially hand-held puzzles, sticker books, washable tattoos, fake jewelry. The all-time favorite: mini cans of playdough (from Aldi’s).
Good places to find these treats: Dollar Store, Target, Party City.
Hi, Maggie. (For my readers, the comment about popcorn balls comes from my article on Halloween treats kids love.) I do not worry too much about adulteration of homemade treats like popcorn balls, as long as my kids stay within my neighborhood for their trick-or-treating. That doesn’t mean I don’t check things over still.
The razor blades in apples thing has been around for decades. That story was going around in the 1970s when I was a kid. Again, I don’t worry about that stuff too much as long as my kids stay close by — and it’s fairly easy to check for.
I think your suggestion about labeling is a great idea. Thanks for all your other tips too!
We lived out in the country and there was one kid of trick or treating age who lived in our area. We gave him an apple when he came to our door. He said he now had 20 apples and no candy!
Every year, as well as candy, I give out glow bracelets. It started as a safety thing (no street lights on my street), but the kids love ’em. They often ask if they can have a second bracelet instead of the candy.
my experiences with the LAST halloween candy to be dumped in the trash was ..the dollar store fake tootsie rolls, generic bubble gum that was so hard you could not chew it and grape dum dum suckers.
Wierd candy would have been preferable to the treatment kids were getting at this house in Los Gatos, CA. This fellow would sit behind his tripod and take pictures of the Trick or Treaters through his picture window. He never opened the door and pretended that he couldn’t be seen as his camera flashed. It was creepy that someone was collecting our images. However, it was better to be a trophy on film rather than stuffed and mounted on a wall.
In our part of the country, you get hardly any candy in your treat bag at all… all chips! And not your regular sized bag, tiny ones with 6 chips in them.
We’ve lived in Switzerland for seven years. We all agree, Tootsie Rolls are what’s missed the most in the world of candy. Nerds we find in a few places so we’re safe on that account. The rest? Eh. Can do without.
Believe it or not when i was a kid we actually had a family that handed out day old home made buscuits. Any of the above would have been better.
hahah what?!?! That’s would suck! But I might have you beat, we had a dentist that lived in my neighborhood…I’m sure you can already guess it, but she would always give out travel size toothpaste bottles and floss.
Haha! The story about the rock really made me chuckle. But seriously, it’s pretty rude and nasty handing a kid out a rock.
I also really hate people who hand out fruits instead of candy. Yeah sure it’s healthy, but come on it’s Halloween!
These candies all seem fine to me, with the exception of stale Easter candy. The one candy I didn’t like were the toffee candy in those white wrappers. However when it came to trick-or-treating and Halloween, it was almost never about the candy. It was the only time of year where you could dress up in a costume and go door-to-door with your friends and hit as many houses as you could before it got too dark. You play games at home and at school and pretend to scare others around you. The candy was just the added bonus to your night of fun. Whatever the candy was or what it tasted like didn’t matter, as long as you had a lot of it. Many times you wanted enough candy to tide you until Christmas, the bigger candy-and-toy holiday.
The solution to this is easy: Don’t take them trick or treating. That way they won’t get anything they don’t like.
Besides, most of that stuff is nearly addicting as any hardcore drug that you can take. Predisposing kids for a lifetime of obesity isn’t being kind to them.
Interesting take. Or are you being facetious? You don’t really believe a single night of trick-or-treating each year predisposes kids to a lifetime of obesity. Or that candy is just as addicting as, say, heroin or cocaine. Do you, MBH?
I didn’t mean to imply that just one night would predispose them. Feeding them refined sugar does, and typically kids do get a lot of that on Halloween. And yes, studies have shown sugar to be as addictive as cocaine or heroin.
Are you nuts?? I love Baby Ruths…and anything with coconut is wonderful. (Now if the Peter Paul people would get their act together, and put almonds on top of the Mounds dark chocolate bars — perfection.)
Bubble gum, too (especially Bazooka), and if I was really lucky, a package of candy cigarettes. That way, you could shock people and eat the cigs, too.
Can see your point about the mints…and I loathe black licorice. (Both my husband and my dad were fond of the stuff — my mom and I would compete in giving it to them for Christmas…so the OTHER person would have to deal with the smell!)
I would have said that maybe these were adult tastes, instead of kids’ preferences — but I loved the same flavors, as a kid.
Personally, you could substitute in Bit O’ Honeys (which my dad loved, and confiscated), and those nasty chalky pink discs that tasted like Pepto Bismol. Bleah.
OMG thanks, Len. Got that song stuck in my head now.
~~Sometimes you feel like a nut.~~
~~Sometimes you don’t.~~
~~Almond Joy’s got nuts;~~
~~Mounds don’t.!~~
~~Peter Paul Almond Joy’s got nuts; ~~
~~Peter Paul Mounds don’t.~~
~~Because…~~
~~Sometimes you feel like a nut; ~~
~~Sometimes you don’t!~~
Some days I hate you.
lol!
Just for the record, I used to be a Mounds guy, but now I prefer Almond Joy.
I love taffy – especially if it has peanut butter or nuts (Bit o’ Honey, Mary Janes, Abba-Zabba – bring ’em on!!!) Oh, and the peanut butter filled taffies that come in Halloween colored wrappers? YUM!
I’m kind of offended by all the Baby Ruth haters here, lol. I think if it’s covered in chocolate, it counts as good candy. Payday bars, on the other hand… those I can do without!
Black licorice = possibly the worst thing ever.
While I’d have to agree with most of these (especially the black licorice…yuck!), I must disagree with the Nerds. They are so fantastically/disgustingly sugary that I simply can’t help myself from dumping box after box into my mouth.
Fun article Len!
Great post! Not a fan of the corn candy at all. Baby Ruths were a treat because Halloween was the only time they ever came out! In my time the plastic bag wasn’t invented yet, (a/k/a when dinosaurs roamed the earth but Halloween was still safe adn fun). Living in Colorado, my paper treat bag inevitably got wet and soggy trudging through too much snow and by the time it was full, broke through on someone’s front step every year. I still remember the tears of shame LOL
That awful maple flavored taffy stuff individually wrapped in orange wrappers. I don’t know what they’re called but I always despised those things.
Now for the part that will make me sound like a horrible person. Every year we get our share of hoodlums trick or treating. Boys probably about 17 or 18 years old, way past the trick or treating age, not even in costume, standing there at the door in their baggy pants and their baseball caps turned sideways or backwards. They don’t even say “Trick or Treat!” When you open the door they just demand, “GIMME SOME CANDY!”
So this is what I do. Instead of eating the leftover candy from last Halloween, I put it into the laundry room. Lots of heat and humidity to make it el-yucko. I put that into a separate bowl and when the gangstas come to the door, I reach for the bowl of last year’s candy and give them a nice handful. Break a tooth, fellas! 😛
I am not a fan of black licorice, but I do like strawberry licorice. I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only kid who didn’t like the jawbreakers…they were too much work.
Sad to say that when I lived in an apartment, my roommate & I didn’t expect trick or treaters. We thought we would have left before they started arriving. We were wrong and were caught off guard. After tossing some candy from the treat bags some well-meaning lady at work gave everyone, we started giving out cough drops. Mint ones at that!
Give the Baby Ruths and coconut candies to me. You won’t regret it. LOL.
Interesting post, but i wonder if you guys ever seen or Tried a RAW PAPAYA dressed like a human skull. Look for it on the web its creepy real looking art. It’s one of the most original things i’ve seen when visited Thailand last year. I wish i could show you guys a photo of it.
Agree with most all that but NERDS!!! Don’t deprive your poor kids of them – they’re incredibly delicious!! 🙂
The worst for me was Necco wafers, in a little roll. Always got thrown out. Anyone old enough to remember candy cigarettes?
I loved candy cigarettes, Louisa! In fact, I was so addicted to them I needed a candy cigarette sugar patch to wean myself off them.
(OK … maybe I wasn’t that addicted to them.)
😉
I love Mounds. I always got a bunch of stuff with peanuts, almonds, or walnuts in it. I like peanuts and cashews, but I don’t like them in anything (although, I did like peanut M&Ms). I always gave my Almond joys away or traded them if I could.
Almond Joy, Baby Ruth, Butterfinger, Milk Duds, Now and Later, Carmel Cubes, Peanut Brittle, Peanut Butter Taffy that was wrapped in black or orange wrappers, Sloe Pokes, Good-n-Plenty, Mike and Ikes, anything with black licorice, 100 Grand, 5th Avenue, Bit-O-Honey, Dots, Jolly Ranchers, Laffy Taffy, Junior Mints, Lemon Heads, Ring Pops, Sugar Babies, Zagnut, Bazooka Gum, Dum Dums…
I hated all of those. Unfortunately, that’s mostly what I was left with once my parents took what they wanted.
The razor blades, pins, and needles stuck in fruit was an urban legend started by candy companies to get more people to give out candy instead of fruit or something homemade. It worked too because my parents threw out everything that wasn’t store bought and individually factory wrapped.
LOL. You names most of the stuff my son loves. He hates chocolate. He loves wonka stuff (nerds, taffy, etc.). He loves the gum and jawbreakers too. I guess his mouth gets a good work out!
Wow!
That is all I can say. You sound like a spoiled brat to me. I’m guessing that you are what is labeled as “high maintenance” by your significant other; if you aren’t single by now due to your unbelievable rude behavior. They made a movie once that perfectly describes your behavior: “Mean Girls.” Watch it and note the message of the film. It might help save you from the bad karma you are creating with articles like this one.
Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. I’ll give you that. The problem with your article is that it describes candy that many people love as bad. It’s written in a way that makes it sound like everyone should hate this because I do. You leave a bad taste in my mouth and what matters most to you, I won’t be back, let alone click on any ads to make you money on the web. I’ll sum it up with a response that matches the age appropriateness of the content of this article: third grade clicky bull: “you like, suck.”
Let me guess: You’re handing out Baby Ruths this year. Again.
Actually I totally agree with you. I don’t know when kids started demanding on what they should and should not get for Halloween. I have over 200 trick or treaters that I personally can’t just feed the parents (which you know who probably complains the most because they didn’t get their adult chocolate brand name sugary snacks because they are too cheap to buy and keep at home themselves but wait for other people to hand it out instead) type. They are kids they wouldn’t care if it was a sugar cube as long as it’s sugar. How about teaching your kids to be grateful. I see people with 6 month old babies “trick or treating” now come on, who’s really eating the candy? But I give it anyway, but I’m sure as hell not going to listen to people basically demand what treats they want. Come on people it’s just trick or treating these people had put a lot of thought into this what seems like an inconvenience of free candy.
Strangely, while I’m not fond of Baby Ruths, I love Paydays. They are basically the same thing, but I like the one without chocolate! Who’da thunk it?
Nerds rule! My kids have been fighting over the little boxes all weekend. My little one and I have been fighting over the Smarties. I’m resisting the urge to sneak the fruit chew snacks out of their bags. Those are great little extra treats to put in lunch boxes. One neighbor gave microwave popcorn bags… meh.
As for the coconut and black licorice, who decided that stuff was candy? That’s just wrong.
OH whoops, I bought mini bags of pretzels to give out this year. I thought they’d be a fun change from all the other candy kids will get… uh oh. Hopefully the popularity of Frugal Hound’s costume will distract them from the pretzels!
Actually, we don’t do tricks and treats in our place. My daughter only gets candies when we she will join a Halloween party. And I agree with Nina about the game that it makes her mouth tired. Lol!
For me, it was always the chocolate. Add just the right amount of nuts or bits of rice and all bets were off — I was going for the chocolate! No toilet paper necessary 🙂
One halloween when I was a college undergrad living in an apartment with four other guys, trick-or-treaters actually came to our door. We had no candy — who trick-or-treats at college apartment buildings? — so we gave the kids a couple of potatoes. 🙂
LOL! Thanks for sharing that, Kurt. 🙂
Funny post! But seriously there was always a few things out of my Halloween candy that never got eaten either.
I personally love smarties, nerds, but no coconut or licorice for me.
Hey, if the teenager actually has a costume on, then give them candy!
When I was 17 living with my mom, we had 1 trick or treater… and it was a 15 year old guy with the scream mask and regular clothing (I think it was a grey sweatsuit if memory serves me). I gave him 1 piece for effort, then told him “Next time wear the full outfit (w/fake weapon), and you can get 10 pieces.”
In college whenever we had to do community service, if it was Halloween related I dressed from top to bottom and parents/older folks would give me tons of candy for “not feeling too old to dress up and trick or treat”. My fellow classmates started noticing and then did the same (hey, free candy IS free candy).
Milky Way, Twix, KitKat, Turtles, Hershey Chocolates, and yes, Candy Corn. My kids love Smarties, Red Hots and Sour Patch Kids, as well as Nerds. I don’t understand liking any of them.
We have a neighbor who gives out disclosing tablets (kids are supposed to chew them and see where they missed with the toothbrush), little toothpastes, or toothbrushes. He’s a dentist and he means well, so the kids don’t TP his house.
How difficult would it be for some folks to just ask around about the kids faves and prepare accordingly. I mean, if you bother open the door, at least treat right. We don’t have Halloween here, but on Christmas and New Year’s kids come to sing carols. My folks are always prepared with good candy and even money for the little ones.
I really do wish you knew that person who gave rocks! My weirdest thing I got during the Halloween treat is I got the same type of candies from every house that I felt bored and I had to stop.
I love Baby Ruth!! Though I have to agree that it is a nut factory haha kids I know usually hate it as well.
Sweet blog, Len! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
No pun intended, right?
Greetings from Ohio! Len, you have an amazing blog here!
Thank you, Kelly!
Very nice article. I certainly love your website, Len!
Thanks!
I’m old enough to remember when people gave popcorn balls and homemade cookies. No worries then about booby-trapped candy. And I personally love Baby Ruth bars. We usually do those bags of bite sized candy that is mostly chocolate but we also have a small selection of things such as red licorice or Skittles for the chocolate and peanut allergic kids
I bought a super-massive 10KG bag of Halloween candy a few years back and over the years I have nibbled all the ones I like.
I keep it in the freezer and take it out every year.
This was a nice article. I think Jaw breakers are best!
What this all means is we all have different tastes. My gift of choice is chocolate. It seems to meet all likes and expectations. Cheap crappy candy is just that. And not a treat at all. Good grief! This only happens once a year. Give the little dears a real treat!
Happy Halloween! Happy Day of the Dead! Happy All Souls Day!
In my part of the world, Holloween is the most important festival for us too, especially for our children.
We don’t have a lot of children come so I give each child a dollar bill. That way there’s no leftover candy for me to eat! As a child (more than 70 years ago) I used to love going to the the Ecklund’s house on Hopper Ave. You knocked on the door. Door swung open and you were greeted by a real, humongous stuffed moose head and Mr. Ecklund, holding it in front of himself, saying “Happy Halloween”! Moose head would retreat and Mr. Ecklund came out with wood salad bowl full of pennies. You got as many pennies as you could scoop up in one hand. Good times!
There was a guy on my street who used to hand out those gigantic Hershey’s and Krackel candy bars. All the kids loved him!
I would take any of these treats over the house that gave out apples or the like. Even candied apples, not a fan.
Thank you everyone for the laughs. Spedie and her dog biscuits for the teens was risking her house being egged.
Mary Janes. The peanut butter taffy in black or orange paper.
One Halloween, someone at work brought a mixed bag of candy for the break room. Everything quickly disappeared but the Mary Janes. Well, one coworker ate one. She started yelling there was a tooth in her candy. She was getting sick at the thought. It turned out to be one of her own crowns. lol
People forgot the small serving bags of candy corn.
LOL! Love the Mary Janes story, Bill! You can’t make that stuff up.