Original oil painting by: Grandfather’s wife
Grandfather says self-confidence and independence go hand-in-hand.
From his earliest days, Grandfather marched to his own drummer. In first-grade at elementary school — a barracks-like structure with a classroom at each end and a coal furnace in the middle — he learned to read and spent the rest of the year, reading all the books in shelves at the back of the room; paying little attention to what was going on up front.
It has been said, “There are no such things as teachers — only students.”
Why are some apparently born with that self-confidence, others, not? Who knows, but it’s not usually hard to tell who has it and who does not.
Can it be developed and/or strengthened? Grandfather says he doesn’t know, but recommends you should try.
Do it on your own; your way.
Be a student, independent of “authorities.”
***
About the Author: RD Blakeslee is a nonagenarian in West Virginia who built his net worth by only investing in that which can be enjoyed during acquisition and throughout life, as opposed to papers in a drawer, like stocks and bonds. You can read more about him here. This article was originally published on 8 February 2018.
I can attest that self confidence CAN be developed over time. I used to be extremely shy, and full of self doubt. Then I decided to tackle my fears and doubts head on and I have never looked back. Great article!
Thank you and CONGRATULATIONS Michael!
Michael, looking back on your decision time, was there any event or person who biased you toward developing your self-confidence?
Honestly it was self-motivated.
Sorry, Micheal – I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.
My case was different than yours. The traits were apparently inborn, but shaped and reinforced by my grandfather (there is a “Grandfather Says” article about him, later) and a stern, middle-aged Catholic woman who was the principal during my early teens in elementary school.
I was not easily subjected to authority. So, when the principal promptly sent most of the “bad actors” off to trade school, she stood me up against her office wall and lectured me at length about proper deportment.
My grandfather also talked with me at length about how to proceed successfully in life without unnecessarily disrupting other people’s lives.
A successful accomplishment in any part of life can sure do wonders for confidence. Even something like a promotion at work or a new friendship can change someone’s outlook on life. And constantly learning and improving your knowledge and skill set can be very empowering.
Right on !
“Nothing succeeds like success” …
Your articles are always so inspiring! My compliments to Grandmother on her awesome painting skills!
I think it was Henry Ford who said something along the lines of, ” the man who thinks he can, and the one who thinks he can’t are both right. Which one are you?”
Thank you, Jason.
I wish I could post pictures here.
There’s one of an estimated 10% of my wife’s paintings (forty or so) laid out on the library table for the varnish to dry. She’s definitely a Ford “can do”
I believe most of us are born with a degree of self confidence, but it can be re-inforced during childhood. Things like performance based success in Boy Scouts, for example, can boost a kids confidence.
I was an Eagle Scout in 1965, and have maintained a fondness for the Scout Motto “Be Prepared” ever since. One of our Scoutmasters was a former Marine Drill Sargent and a HECK of an inspiration.
Andy, My experience with my children bears out your belief.
Provide supportive parenting (including correction, not just praise), recognize each child’s inherent talent and provide opportunities for its expression.
Supportive parents….the ones who encourage you to try and do (not the ones who buy every material thing for you) Surround yourself with optimistic people.
…and, as they gain in maturity, counsel them to learn independently, without undue regard for “authority”.
Now that Grandfather is three years older and not physically very active anymore, he can report that he enjoys remembering his past escapades and the company of his children.
A preface to success is a healthy state of mind and Grandfather can attest that it doesn’t necessarily leave one in old age.
Amen Brother Ben! Amen! Shot at the goose, and killed the hen!
I have marched to the beat of my own drummer my whole life. I don’t want to be any other way. If I I’m not true to me, I’m not happy. My aunt said, “You were the most naturally curious child I’d ever seen. You were smart enough to always figure things out on your own.”. I take that as a high compliment.
I had it, parents crushed it. A teacher helped me get it again, parents crushed it. I found it again at work, and church. When your self-esteem comes from your relationship with God, no human can take it.
The one childhood dream I have left to fulfill is whale watching. I don’t know if my body is going to let me do it but I intend to fill it. Maybe, Mr. Dave can give me some tips on mogating (country for walking) with my cane.
Bill, around here the terrain is too rough for a cane to work very well outdoors. Unwieldy as it is, a walker is the best way to get about without undue risk of falling. Outdoors it has to be the plant, take a step, plant again type. Indoors it’s a wheeled one, much quicker and works well on level surfaces.
Keep it up. My grandma’s Aunt Fanny was still alive at 108. Her kids made her use a rolling chair but her mind was still good. She was feisty.