9 Personal Finance Lessons I Learned from Watching The Simpsons

Twenty years ago the series premier of arguably the greatest cartoon ever, The Simpsons, debuted in the United States. Over that time I have watched countless episodes chronicling the lives of Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa Simpson and all of their friends and acquaintances. This is probably no surprise to my four regular readers who have to endure my occasional haphazard references to the show on this blog such as this one from a couple months ago.

Coincidentally, an episode of The Simpsons debuted ten years ago last week, “Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo”, that focused heavily on the world of personal finance. In it, the Simpson family attended the Chuck Garabidian Mega-Savings Seminar, where Chuck taught them how frugal people can still buy the finer things in life on a limited budget. For instance, Chuck explained how he cleverly bought his yacht at a steep discount because it smelled like cat pee, and that his fancy suit was bought on the cheap because an infamous lawyer died in it. 🙂

With over 440 episodes of The Simpsons out there it really should not be too surprising to learn that, over time, I have picked up scattered bits of personal finance advice that I have never forgotten.

So here are nine pearls of personal finance wisdom, with accompanying dialog, I’ve collected over the past twenty years from the vast sea that is The Simpsons catalog:

Lesson Number One: Money is the primary means we use for buying stuff.

(looking under the couch for something to eat, Homer finds a $20 bill instead)
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
— From the episode Boy-Scoutz N the Hood

Lesson Number Two: Sometimes you’re better off paying a little extra to ensure good quality.

(Homer spies a can of plankton while at the supermarket with Lisa…)
Homer: Wow, this plankton is only thirty-three cents!
Lisa: Um, according to the “Mexican Council of Food,” this expired two years ago.
Homer: Sure, by their standards, but we live in America!
Lisa: This also says it can cause Red Tide poisoning.
Homer: Aww! But it’s so cheap.
— From the episode Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

Lesson Number Three: Always make sure you have a valid insurance policy.

(Upon looking at the damage to his tavern caused by a terrible bar fight)
Moe: Well there is only one way to recoup these losses…
(takes out a can of gasoline, pours it all over his tavern, then tosses a lit match, starting an instant inferno)
Carl: Whoa, Moe! Don’t you have to buy insurance first?
Moe: Aw crap.
— From the episode Strong Arms of the Ma

Lesson Number Four: There is a lot of money to be made in telemarketing…

Homer: Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you’ve got the power inside you right now. Use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don’t delay. Eternal happiness is only a dollar away.
— From the episode Lisa’s Date with Destiny

Lesson Number Five: …as long it’s based on a legitimate product or service, that is.

Homer: This is Homer Simpson, aka Happy Dude. The court is making me call everybody back and apologize for my telemarketing scam. I’m sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. You have the power.
— From the episode Lisa’s Date with Destiny

Lesson Number Six: Amusement parks can be really really expensive.

(while visiting the “Magic Kingdom” amusement park)
Homer: One churro, please.
Park Employee: That’ll be $14.
Homer: (crying) No. No, no, no. Noooo! Here.
— From the episode Special Edna

Lesson Number Seven: For those who are willing to dig, there’s always a bargain to be found somewhere.

Homer: Well, if you’re not rich, then how come you have a new refrigerator, an electric can opener, and a milkshake machine?
Ned: Oh, we picked those up cheap; they were evidence in a murder trial.
Homer: Sweet.
— From the episode Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo

Lesson Number Eight: Those that say money can buy love generally aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.

Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things, like love!
— From the episode Bart Gets an Elephant

Lesson Number Nine: If you find a “great deal” somewhere that seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Homer: Family meeting! All right, first item: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now let’s move on to the real issue: Lisa’s hogging all of the maple syrup.
Marge: Hold on, Homer. You lost all our money?
Homer: Point of order – I didn’t lose ALL the money. There was enough left for this cowbell. (Homer rings the bell softly and it disintegrates in his hands.)
Homer: Damn you, eBay.
— From the episode HOMR

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