Yakezie Carnival: The Chuck Norris Edition

Welcome to the Yakezie Carnival!

First off, I’d like to say arigato to Sam for allowing me the pleasure to host this week’s carnival.

I’d also like to thank the great Chuck Norris, who was the inspiration for today’s festivities.

So, while you’re perusing some excellent articles from my fellow Yakezie members, make sure you also take a moment or two to revel in the accompanying baker’s dozen of amazing facts regarding today’s man of honor.

With that said, let’s get started, shall we?

Fact #1. Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma on March 10, 1940. He is the son of Wilma and Ray Norris.

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Fact #2. Norris has a 10th degree black belt in Tang Soo Do. He also has an 8th degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. On a related note, Norris is the creator of another martial art called Chun Kuk Do. (Although not confirmed, if I was a betting man I suspect he’s also mastered the dosido.)

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Fact #3. In 1969, Norris made his acting debut in The Wrecking Crew, starring Dean Martin. He played a “party guest.” Norris’ first starring role didn’t come until 1977, when he starred in Breaker! Breaker!

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Fact #4. Norris is currently suing NBC. He claims Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

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Fact #5. Chuck Norris doesn’t sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses the tears to cool himself.

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Fact #6. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

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Fact #7. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Fact #8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

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Fact #9. Chuck Norris sleeps in the light — not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him.

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Fact #10. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

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Fact #11. Chuck Norris wears sunglasses — not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.

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Fact #12. If the groundhog sees his shadow, it’s 6 additional weeks of winter. If Chuck Norris sees his shadow, it’s 6 more weeks of pain.

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Fact #13. Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He levels up.

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And on that note, this edition of the Yakezie Carnival is over! Next week’s carnival will be hosted by Joe over at Retire By 40.

As for me, after writing this I’m praying that Chuck Norris doesn’t try to retire me prematurely with one of his patented roundhouse kicks. Yes, I can apply for the Federal Witness Protection Program, but I’m not sure what good that will do me. After all, whenever Chuck Norris gets pulled over for speeding, he lets the cops off with a warning.

(For more fun facts about Chuck Norris, be sure to check out the Chuck Norris Facts website.)

Photo Credit: Lomo-Cam