The Ugly Truth: Why Big Spenders Are Terrible In Bed

It is a truism that most big spenders are showoffs; they feed off attention.

Ironically, while your typical big spender works 24/7 trying to impress others, most of the time they rarely do so.

There is a small segment of the population, however, that naturally gravitates to these self-absorbed cocks-of-the-walk.   Younger women, especially, seem to be lured by the glitter and glam of these show-offs, hoping to get just a small taste of the rock-star life.

Unfortunately, thanks to easy credit afforded by credit cards, too many big spenders like to put on a show even though they don’t have the dough in their bank accounts to back it up.

In other words, while all big spenders love to talk the talk, very few can actually walk the walk.   Especially over the long run.

So if that’s true, what motivates such financially reckless behavior for the majority of these big spenders?   What else – sex!

But here’s the rub (if you’ll pardon the expression):   When it comes to performance in the bedroom, anatomy is important.   Yes, I realize lots of women out there – including the Honeybee (thank God) – will insist that it doesn’t matter.     They’re lying.

WTF are you suggesting here, Len?   Are you insinuating that all big spenders have small…

Hut!   Stop right there!   There’s no need to get graphic.

Okay, yes there is.

To better explain what I am really trying to say, look at the cool infographic at the bottom of this page from my friends at   It, um, exposes the anatomy of the typical showoff that lives on a modest income.   Just let me warn you, people – it ain’t pretty.

After checking this big spender out, I think most of you ladies out there will quickly come down with a romance-killing headache, if only because his assets don’t quite, well, measure up.

After all, as this infographic conclusively proves, the ugly truth is the only thing you’ll find over-extended on a lot of big spenders is their bank account – and how sexy is that?




  1. 1


    Well Len, that post really measured up! And the more I think about it, the more it grows on me.

    I am not sure it will change any “Big-Spenders” actions, but maybe it will decrease their “action”.

    Good Stuff!

  2. 3

    Jenna says

    HAHA! This is what my friend calls the $30,000 millionaire. College students that get out of college get their first job making $30,000 and spend it trying to look cool… Seems a little out of control…

  3. 4


    Hi Jenna, does your friend live in Texas? That’s exactly what we call these guys in Dallas. They go to all the pretentious clubs with their designer outfits, but this only impresses some women in their 20s. After a while, these women look for someone with a truly large … wallet.

    • 5

      Jenna says

      Haha, nope. We are up in the Pacific Northwest. Although this could be a national phenomenon, since I’ve seen it on the East Coast too. Oh brother!

    • 6


      Jennifer, I thought in Texas, it was all hat and no cattle.

      In this case maybe, all hat and small…. Well, I hate to be too specific at Len’s blog-I can talk medical on my own blog.

      • 7

        Robert says

        As a man in my seventies I can appreciate just about everything said here so far. When I was a young fellow from elementary school on up all I wanted was to fit in; this isn’t much different from kids today. Bullying was not as prevalent but it was there. If you had an issue with someone you talked it out or went out on the street after school and fought it out. No one got shot or knifed, and if it did happen it was a rare incident. All anyone one wanted was to fit in but there was no manual published on how to do that. That bit of ignorance followed us into our adult lives.

        As adults ( usually children in adult bodies) we were and in most cases still are trying to figure out how to fit in. No one ever suggested there were networks out there to help us get a handle on this problem. There WERE no networks and probably not today. Computers were a long way off in the future when I graduated from high school and went off into the world blind as a bat.

        I did the same thing everyone else was doing, hangout with people my own age, having fun but at the same time never letting on I was basically as ignorant as they were; no one showed their weakness; we all wanted to be accepted among our peers so we went along with whatever the others were doing. We were friends, a kind of close knit family, many times better than the family that brought us up.

        We looked to others to see what appeared to work. How were these other guys getting girls? They put on an act. Flashed money, acted cool. What was cool seemed to be what was acceptable and what worked. If the girls liked it we did it. What we never realized and STILL don’t realize is that girls like boys grow up (at least we hope so). The girls changed, got tired of flash and pomp. They wanted something else, like respect? We just never figured that out.

        Change happens slowly, so slow that we never see it happening. We all change but never notice it until one day we look in the mirror! But it’s not just our physical appearance; something inside has changed. Our relationships either hold together or they fall apart, but the force behind it is change. Even as adults we never really figured out who or what we were or what we wanted. The education system never played a role in that. Our parents, as ignorant as we children were and are, could never give us the answer. THEY DIDN’T KNOW EITHER!

        By the time I reached my sixties it became clear to me as a man that what I really wanted was to be appreciated and liked for who I was, not for who others thought I might be or what I might have. It became clear to me and remains so, that we see each other through a clever fiction; we never see each other for who we really are. That becomes another problem to be worked out: who are we, and who are you, really? The fear of self revelation is probably going to prevent a solution dead in it’s tracks. We’ve been hurt in some way in the past; opening up with out some caution will probably hurt us again. Better to keep the fiction. Better to play a game of pretend?

        I have grand children now, and I have discover that what really matters is them. They love and appreciate their grandpa for just being their grandpa. They are loved and appreciated the way I never was. And what is important is that I am loved and appreciated, something I longed for all my life.

        What about you? How will you find out? How long will it take you? Not that time is all that important, but the sooner you get your act together as a young man or woman, the better. The sooner you get it together, the less wreckage you will leave behind you? Isn’t that an important reason to find out now?

  4. 9

    Sabrina says

    “the ugly truth is the only thing you’ll find over-extended on a lot of big spenders is their bank account”

    As some one who has dated a couple of big spenders, I can attest to that. Haha. If you get my drift. 😉

  5. 10


    I was a bit disappointed in the full graphic. I guess I was expecting something bigger. 😉 But you’re right, all show and no dough isn’t a pretty picture!

    • 12


      @Jenna: I think the $30k Millionaire would be a great title for a book. Don’t you?
      @Sabrina: No comment. (But I sense these comments are on the verge of getting just a bit out of control.) LOL
      @Little House: Wow. Really? But it was at least 14-inches long! (Well, it was – on my screen anyway.)
      @Denise: I’ll have to take your word for it. LOL

  6. 13


    @Dr. Dean: “All hat and no cattle” does describe someone who has an impressive facade and can’t back it up. :) It originally comes from immigrants to Texas picking up some of the local mannerisms like a hat, but not being a real cowboy.

  7. 15


    Personally, I don’t have a problem with big spenders as long as they spend big after they have built substantial wealth. It’s the people who go broke or fail to build wealth trying to look rich that get in the real trouble IMHO. Regards, Shawn

  8. 16


    One of my first bosses on Wall Street told me that “at mid-night every trader got the biggest ….. in the bar.” – The moral of the story. What happens in the bar does not matter. Only what happens on the trading desk during the day counts.

    • 19


      @Roger: I was going to say “beats me” but let me rephrase my answer: I can’t imagine why you would feel that way either. 😉
      @Shawn: Me either. Well said.
      @Money: You ARE referring to the trading of stocks and bonds, right? 😉
      @Suzanne: Hey! Maybe you and Sabrina dated the same guy(s)? :-)
      @Jenna: Are you offering me a job as a ghost writer? 😉 LOL

  9. 20


    “But here’s the rub (if you’ll pardon the expression): When it comes to performance in the bedroom, anatomy is important. Yes, I realize lots of women out there — including the Honeybee (thank God) — will insist that it doesn’t matter. They’re lying.”

    Yep, the secret is out. Gone are the days where we look down awkwardly and murmur something like “Uhhmm… that’s ok honey, it’s the technique that matters” 😀 Yeah right.

    You speak the truth, brother.

    • 21


      That’s what I was afraid of, Bytta. Despite what I said, I always had a little flicker of hope that I could be wrong – but you just snuffed that little ember right out. Poof. Gone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go to the freezer and get me some Chunky Monkey – and I’m going to eat all of it too.

  10. 23


    @James: I live out here too and for many people it’s ALL about the SHOW.
    @Jenna: Well, I’ve been essentially writing for free ever since I started this little ol’ blog. 😉

  11. 24


    Ooh la la, your post was getting racy, I almost blushed. =)

    Like the graphic.

    Big spenders compensate for what they lack (in bed and also anatomically-wise), eh?

    I also see a correlation (possibly) with people who drive fancy cars/ drive modified cars and their anatomically challenged ‘parts’ =)

  12. 26


    Come on, nobody is spending $15,000 on a first class roundtrip ticket!

    $3,500 is pretty reasonable for a man watch. I have to admit, I have a $10,000 stainless steel rolex daytona, so the Cartier example is pretty damn cheap!

  13. 29

    James says

    this title alone made me almost fall out of my chair…

    you are probably right though, living in LA i have plenty of friends who earn similar salary as me and have cars, apartments and entertainment budgets that don’t match their income.

    i feel bad for them when they wake up one day in the future and realize not only that they have noting to show for it but they are $20,000 in debt.

  14. 30

    Toby48843 says

    I know I’m broke as a joke but I can do it like a cool breeze most bigwigs are two pump chumps anyway all that show and no go.

  15. 32

    SamVuitton says

    30K millionaire.
    Ha! You nailed it man. I have been looking for a proper nickname for such folks. Now I git it. Thanks Len.

  16. 34

    Seth says

    I live reasonably and well within my means. We drive a 5 year old Subaru Outback for our family car and I have my first high school car, a 1995 Ford Mustang, that I use as my daily driver. I would say we are not showing off to the neighbors. But there is a part of me that wants a bigger/fancier car. The neighborhood is not full of them, so I would stand out like a sore thumb unfortunately..or maybe it is good fortune for not being surrounded by peer pressure all the time.

    • 38

      Len Penzo says

      If they are, Shine, nobody knows because stingy men have virtually no chance of getting there in the first place. 😉

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