Original oil painting by: Grandfather’s wife
The following is a true story, only names are changed to protect the guilty.
Grandfather used to be visited by Clyde and his wife Penelope, from time to time. They always showed up early, before Grandfather was ready for them and Grandfather had to yell from the bedroom: “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Grandfather decided to remedy that.
So, the next time they showed up early, grandfather yelled from the bedroom as usual but, this time, he came out in his bathrobe.
Grandfather strode into full frontal position before Penelope and, as she squealed “No! No! No!” he flung open his bathrobe, showing her …
His Bermuda shorts and tee shirt.
It worked; they didn’t come early, anymore.
***
About the Author: RD Blakeslee is a nonagenarian in West Virginia who built his net worth by only investing in that which can be enjoyed during acquisition and throughout life, as opposed to papers in a drawer, like stocks and bonds. You can read more about him here.
Photos: Courtesy of the Blakeslee Family
Excellent solution, Dave. Did they ever show up at all after that?
It reminds me of my father’s solution to his sister and her husband. They would “stop by” after dinner and then settle in to visit – until 12 or 1 am. My father got up every day at 6 am, so this did not work well.
So they showed up and settled in one night. Promptly at 9 pm, my father stood up (all 6’5″ of him) and announced, “I am going to bed now, so you good folks can feel free to go home.”
They went.
Gee, these friends were “old shoe”, so we-all remained close. Clyde was infamous for practical jokes, anyway.
Gee, as I’m now 91 next month and many of my friends are now dead. These two are, so I guess it won’t hurt to tell you who they were.
“Clyde” is profiled here: https://lenpenzo.com/blog/id52369-grandfather-says-remembering-an-old-friend.html
Dave, when you first submitted this I almost had a heart attack … then I got to the last line. 🤣
Well played, sir!
Thanks, Len.
Mr. Dave, Thank you for the laugh. Knowing that you are a decent man, I was waiting for the punch line.
Mr. Dave,
Thank you for reposting the link to Charlie. I don’t arrive early but I am a lot like him.
Every time you turned around, the most lazy worker we had was expectant. She was with child 5 times in 5 years. She did it in part to keep from having to come to work. (She bragged about it.) So, I messaged a woman at work who was a known gossip. I asked her, “Did you hear that M is with child again?”. She said, “No.” I said, “Me neither. I just wondered.”. She said, “You almost got me!”. lol
Bill, I use a variation of your “me neither” on acquaintances, all the time; “Did you hear the joke about the Arab and the camel going to a bar?”
No.
“Me neither, but I thought maybe you dId”.
Seems like you can find ‘most anything on the web, these days, so maybe you and I will appear in our caskets in a rogue’s gallery there someday, except I’m going to be cremated, so a photo of a pot full of ashes won’t be very interesting …
lol
I am going to be cremated too. We can have our ashes made into neck ties, and make sure Len gets one of both of us.
That makes three of us!