{"id":17245,"date":"2020-07-27T04:15:52","date_gmt":"2020-07-27T11:15:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/?p=17245"},"modified":"2022-01-22T13:07:44","modified_gmt":"2022-01-22T21:07:44","slug":"true-story-how-to-cope-when-your-spouse-skips-out-with-all-the-cash-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id17245-true-story-how-to-cope-when-your-spouse-skips-out-with-all-the-cash-2.html","title":{"rendered":"True Story: My Spouse Skipped Town and Left Me Penniless!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I’d always considered myself pretty street smart. You know, the kind of girl that didn’t have an easy life and had learned many lessons via the School of Hard Knocks.<\/p>\n

Then I married my Prince Charming. He didn’t make much money, but we shared the same values, including those regarding personal finance<\/a>; prior to meeting him I built up an 18-month emergency fund that exceeded $50,000.<\/p>\n

Life was good — until that fateful day when the world was turned upside down: My prince ran off with the pot of gold.<\/p>\n

One day I was happily married and on a solid financial footing. The next day, I was alone and near broke — just 23 months into my marriage.<\/p>\n

I was 48 years old.<\/p>\n

At the time, I was making about $106,000 annually<\/a>. He was making $23,000.<\/p>\n

The damage was devastating; he left me nearly penniless.<\/p>\n

Before skipping out he drained the entire emergency fund, plus the checking account — including my most recent paycheck — and all of the money that was going to be used to pay the mortgage. Unfortunately, only my<\/em><\/strong> name was on the loan — even though his name was on the title, due to a quirk in the refinance process.<\/p>\n

Adding insult to injury, I had put money into his Roth IRA, covered his life and dental insurance, paid for his messed-up teeth, fixed his truck, paid off his back child support and retired his tax obligations. After all, he was my husband; I trusted him.<\/p>\n

The first issue I had to deal with was how to cash-flow this disaster. I was fortunate that my house was full of food when he left. Thankfully, he also skipped out early in a month that I received three paychecks. Otherwise, I would have had a tough time covering the mortgage.<\/p>\n

After my next paycheck arrived, I was able to pay the utility bills<\/a> and my car insurance.<\/p>\n

The third check paid the lawyers.<\/p>\n

Thereafter, I lived close to the bone. My lawyer fees ultimately came to about $9000.<\/p>\n

When something like this happens, there are two sides to the coin: emotional and financial. Any divorce attorney will tell you that everything becomes about the money — and that’s exactly what happened.<\/p>\n

If you ever have the same misfortune, your losses will be determined by your state of residence.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, there are things you can do to protect yourself before, during and after such a crisis.<\/p>\n

Before the Crisis<\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n

Get and stay organized.<\/strong> Have your financial documents in a safe place. Some of my critical documents mysteriously disappeared — so make copies that only you know about. Be prepared<\/a> to prove what you had before the marriage with respect to: savings, checking, and retirement accounts, and how much you owed on your house, if applicable. That info will save thousands in attorney fees.<\/p>\n

Be alert.<\/strong> If your gut tells you something is wrong, then something is probably wrong.<\/p>\n

Cultivate good friends.<\/strong> Establish a tight circle.<\/p>\n

During the Crisis<\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n

Don’t try to figure out the emotional side.<\/strong> Sane people can’t figure out crazy and selfish people!<\/p>\n

Assemble a “Ninja Squad.”<\/strong> For me that included:<\/p>\n