{"id":15845,"date":"2023-01-02T04:15:32","date_gmt":"2023-01-02T12:15:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/?p=15845"},"modified":"2025-02-28T09:28:37","modified_gmt":"2025-02-28T17:28:37","slug":"dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Dear Friend: Here Are 41 Reasons Why I&#8217;m NOT Lending the Money"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_32779\" style=\"width: 385px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-32779\" class=\"wp-image-32779 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/loan21.jpg\" alt=\"never loan money to friends or family\" width=\"375\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/loan21.jpg 375w, https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/loan21-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/loan21-38x50.jpg 38w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-32779\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Unless there is a really good reason, I never lend money to friends or family. But Dave does.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>The conventional wisdom is that you should never lend money to friends or family.<\/p>\n<p>For me, that old saw was reinforced after I read a curious article in the <em>Huffington Post<\/em> that attempted to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/ious-debt_n_1668419\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">explain why<\/a> our friends and family often fail to repay money that they borrow from us.<\/p>\n<p>In a nutshell, the piece offered the following five reasons:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You refuse to ask for the money back.<\/li>\n<li>You make it too easy for your friends to ignore you.<\/li>\n<li>You didn&#8217;t get the loan in writing.<\/li>\n<li>Your friends assume that their unpaid debt won&#8217;t result in a broken friendship.<\/li>\n<li>Your friends never planned to give you the money back in the first place.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>However, the author failed to offer the most logical reason why people routinely welch on loans from their friends and relatives: they&#8217;re deadbeats.<\/p>\n<p>So it&#8217;s no wonder many people avoid lending money to others.<\/p>\n<p>As for yours truly, I have <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id13056-3-true-loan-stories-how-to-lend-money-to-family-friends-2.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">loaned money<\/a> to a financially-pinched friend or relative &#8211; but it&#8217;s rare.<\/p>\n<p>For example, I&#8217;m much more likely to open my wallet if I believe someone is in a bind due to something outside of their control.<\/p>\n<p>That being said, if you happen to be a friend or family member who&#8217;s thinking about asking <strong><em>me<\/em><\/strong> for a loan, be careful. If one or more of the following are true, your odds of success will be <em><strong>extremely<\/strong><\/em> remote if:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>You refuse to get a job &#8212; any job.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve got a million reasons why you can&#8217;t work a second job.<\/li>\n<li>You drive a brand new Lexus <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1145-why-your-expensive-luxury-car-doesnt-impress-smart-people-or-me-2.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">when a 1997 Honda Civic will do<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You insist on living somewhere with a high cost-of-living even though your income (or lack thereof) can&#8217;t support it.<\/li>\n<li>You fail to understand that debt is a mortgage on your future.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id6202-a-high-household-income-nope-thats-not-a-necessity-either-2.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your priorities are all screwed up<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You live in a larger home than you can reasonably afford.<\/li>\n<li>You refuse to raise additional cash by selling some of your &#8220;toys.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You prefer to blame others for your poor financial situation.<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1261-10-key-characteristics-of-debt-free-people-2.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You&#8217;re materialistic<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You fail to comprehend the concept of value.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve got a closet full of $300 designer jeans.<\/li>\n<li>You own a $600 handbag.<\/li>\n<li>You wear $800 Louis Vuitton Millionaire sunglasses.<\/li>\n<li>You play the lottery on a regular basis.<\/li>\n<li>Your teenager drives a brand new car when a beater will do.<\/li>\n<li>You think money grows on trees.<\/li>\n<li>You insist that packing a brown bag lunch is waste of time.<\/li>\n<li>You recently completed <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1319-why-marriage-makes-it-so-hard-to-control-remodeling-costs-well-kinda-sorta.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">an ambitious kitchen remodel<\/a> even though it didn&#8217;t really need it.<\/li>\n<li>You own five dogs, three cats, a cockatoo and an anaconda.<\/li>\n<li>You refuse to <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1083-beware-the-four-horsemen-of-personal-finance-3.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">quit smoking<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re woefully disorganized.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t tell me exactly how much money you earn each month.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t explain &#8212; nor have any idea &#8212; where your money goes every month.<\/li>\n<li>You refuse to <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id4365-culinary-odds-ends-how-eating-leftovers-saves-me-1400-annually.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">save money by eating leftovers<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You believe it&#8217;s all about living in the moment.<\/li>\n<li>You just got back from a 10-day Caribbean cruise.<\/li>\n<li>You have no concept of personal responsibility.<\/li>\n<li>You failed to maintain rainy day and emergency funds.<\/li>\n<li>You own the latest iPhone.<\/li>\n<li>You eat out too much.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re still <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1176-dont-be-a-sucker-why-private-schools-are-financial-rip-offs.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sending your child to private school<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re a big believer in keeping up with the Joneses.<\/li>\n<li>You still have a gardener.<\/li>\n<li>You just bought another large screen high definition television.<\/li>\n<li>You seem to think that poor planning on your part constitutes an emergency on mine.<\/li>\n<li>Your spouse refuses to get a job.<\/li>\n<li>You don&#8217;t know the difference between a want and a need.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve shown no inclination to change your financially destructive behavior.<\/li>\n<li>You haven&#8217;t established <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id5494-get-financially-fit-by-running-your-household-like-a-business-3.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a credible plan<\/a> for digging yourself out of debt.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>And if that&#8217;s <em><strong>still<\/strong><\/em> not enough reasons for you, here&#8217;s one more: Quite frankly, I&#8217;m tired of coddling people who <a href=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id1283-if-you-cant-live-on-40000-per-year-its-your-own-fault.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">refuse to sacrifice<\/a> and make the same hard decisions that I do every day in order to ensure I live within my means.<\/p>\n<p>Is that harsh? No &#8212; that&#8217;s life.<\/p>\n<p>So, now that I&#8217;ve made myself perfectly clear &#8230; do you still want to ask me for a loan?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-size: smaller;\">Photo Credit: Infrogmation<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The conventional wisdom is that you should never lend money to friends or family. For me, that old saw was reinforced after I read a curious article in the Huffington Post that attempted to explain why our friends and family often fail to repay money that they borrow from us. In a nutshell, the piece [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32779,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","pmpro_default_level":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[458,459],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-15845","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-credit-debt","8":"category-family","9":"pmpro-has-access","10":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.8 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dear Friend: Here Are 41 Reasons Why I&#039;m NOT Lending the Money<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The conventional wisdom is that you should never lend money to friends or family. 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With that in mind, here are 41 good reasons why that&#039;s true:\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Len Penzo dot Com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/LenPenzo\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-01-02T12:15:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-02-28T17:28:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/lenpenzo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/loan21.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"375\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Len Penzo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@LenPenzo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@LenPenzo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Len Penzo\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Len Penzo\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3968bb46693d14b2ae2ab4958aa41dfd\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Friend: Here Are 41 Reasons Why I&#8217;m NOT Lending the Money\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-01-02T12:15:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-02-28T17:28:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html\"},\"wordCount\":706,\"commentCount\":147,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/loan21.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Credit &amp; Debt\",\"Home and Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html\",\"name\":\"Dear Friend: Here Are 41 Reasons Why I'm NOT Lending the Money\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/id15845-dear-friend-here-are-41-reasons-why-im-not-lending-you-the-money-2.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lenpenzo.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/loan21.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-01-02T12:15:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-02-28T17:28:37+00:00\",\"description\":\"The conventional wisdom is that you should never lend money to friends or family. 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