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The offbeat personal finance blog for responsible people.

Black Coffee: The Great White North, Taylor Swift and Hot Russian Brides

By Nelson Smith

It’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy a little joe…

Welcome to another rousing edition of Black Coffee, your off-beat weekly round-up of what’s been going on in the world of money and personal finance. Your normal author, uh, (scrolls to the top of the page) some guy named Len Penzo, is not here this week. I’m not sure where he is. Ever since I showed up at Aunt Doris’s birthday party that one time he doesn’t tell me where he goes. I can’t say I blame him.

Hi, I’m Nelson Smith. You might remember me from previous editions of Black Coffee (like this one) and also from my very own blog, Financial Uproar. And if you’re an attractive lady, you might remember me from some of my awkward pickup lines. If we go out on a date, I promise I won’t cry again.

Jeez, that last paragraph was a little depressing. Let’s get to the links.

Blogs I’ve Been Following This Week

Budgets Are Sexy – Girls Care About Money. Guys Care About Looks. Here’s Why Girls Get Screwed On Dating Sites. Once you get past the gigantically long title, go check out this post. It’s by MakinSense Babe, (AKA Kathryn) who might be the most interesting blogger you’ve never heard of. Unless you’ve never heard of me. Then I take it all back. Anyway, it’s about, well, all sorts of things. Go read.

Timeless Finance – Save Energy This Winter. Not all of us have the fortune of living in warm, warm Southern California like the Penzo family. Joe, like me, spends most of his time in Canada, where it gets a little cool during the winter months. How are you supposed to stay warm and save money? Not to worry, he’s got you covered.

Control Your Cash – College Is Too Cheap. Like me, the fine folks from Control Your Cash spent time watching the presidential debate the other night. See, Americans, we Canadians care about your stuff. Would it kill you to at least acknowledge our existence? Anyway, CYC took the opportunity to point out some of the fallacies of our education at all costs attitude.

Financial Uproar – Why You Should Stop Telecommuting. I hear this guy is handsome, hilarious, and humble. You should go to his site right away. It’s not only a plug, it’s about as shameless as plugs get.

Thirty Six Months – Can You Profit From The Crowdfunding Fever? Okay guys, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to get some crazy scheme, you’ll all be my partners, and we’ll totally go on Kickstarter to separate people from their money. That’s what crowdsourcing is, right? It turns out it isn’t. Go read Marissa’s post to learn all about it.

And here’s some other posts you might enjoy…

Young and Thrifty – A Woman’s Perspective On Engagement Rings

Afford Anything – Stop Thinking About Consumption. Start Thinking About Creation

Money Mamba – Canadian Housing, God’s Gift To The World

Vanessa’s Money – Inkjet vs. Laser Printers

The Way Back Machine: Past Posts Of Mine You May Have Missed

Ha. You all think you’re getting one of Len’s old posts, but I’m in charge this week, so you’re getting one of mine. Don’t worry, it only has 19 spelling and grammar errors. Anyway, a while ago, I wrote about the reasons why professional athletes aren’t overpaid. It’s kind of topical, considering the NHL lockout. I’m convinced Len is behind this lockout, that way his L.A. Kings can be Stanley Cup champions forever.

Credits And Debits

Credit: Up here in Canada, housing prices have more than doubled since the year 2000. Some major markets are up as much as 200%. Sounds good for Canadians, right?

Debit: Except Canadians are in a lot of debt. Currently, Canada’s average household debt to income ratio is 163.4%. This number is higher than both England and The United States before their housing bubbles burst.

Debit: The average house in Vancouver now sells for more than 15 times the average income. In Toronto, the number isn’t quite so bad, topping out at approximately 9 times income. The national average in the U.S.? Right around 4.

Debit: Toronto recently reported 63,400 housing starts. The number of housing starts a decade ago? Just 30,000. Condo buildings represent the majority of the growth, probably because most Tortonians can’t afford the price tag of the average house, which was quickly approaching $700,000.

Debit: That is, until the market turned over. August and September housing resale numbers were awful, with sales falling over 15% compared to year ago levels. Is this the beginning of the end for Canada’s housing bubble?

Credit: At least we have hockey. Oh right. Stupid NHL lockout.

By The Numbers

0 Pairs of pants I’ve wearing while writing this post. Oh relax, I’m wearing underpants.

3 Number of days until the new Taylor Swift album comes out, titled Red. I’m not the least bit excited about it, I just mention it in case any of you are.

2819 Number of times I will probably end up listening to said album.

3885024920472 Number of times I will appreciate Taylor’s loveliness. We’re destined to be together.

2 The number of restraining orders she currently has against me. I’m not allowed within 2.5 miles of her. Good thing I have a really big telescope.

100 The number of mini chocolate bars in the big box I bought a week ago to give out to the kids at Halloween.

31 The number of chocolate bars left. Actually, make it 30.

A whole bunch The number of condo towers I saw being built in Toronto during my recent trip there.

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Other Useless News

Here are the top — and bottom — 5 Canadian provinces and territories in terms of the average number of pages viewed per visit here at Len Penzo dot Com over the past 30 days:

1.  Northwest Territories & Nunavut (2.88 pages/visit)
2. Yukon (2.50)
3.  Saskatchewan (2.43)
4. Alberta (2.30)
5. Quebec (2.12)

8. British Columbia (1.94)
9. Manitoba (1.79)
10. New Brunswick (1.61)
11. Newfoundland (1.47)
12. Prince Edward Island (1.36)

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Letters, I Get Letters

Every week, Len features the most interesting question or comment he gets. Being that’s he’s gone, I guess I’ll have to fill the void. This is from something called HotRussianBrides.com, which I swear I’ve never visited. I’m completely baffled as to why it’s on my Internet history.

Da, Nelson. It’s me, Svetlana. You promise and promise to come to Ukraine to take me back to Canada with you. I long for the opportunity to make you soup from beets and sample the many different varieties of Canadian vodka. We will be together soon. But first, I need $5000 American dollars. Please send immediately, dearest.

If you guys need me, I’ll be at the bank.

I’m Nelson Smith, and at least I work for free.

16 Comments October 20, 2012

Comments

  1. 1

    Joe says

    I saw this on my WordPress dashboard, so I clicked the link.

    Then I read the first line: “It’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy a little joe…”

    My n00b reaction: “A message for me? :O wtf is this witchcraft??”

    Reply
  2. 2

    Marissa @ Thirty Six Months says

    Thanks for including me, Nelson! You rock!

    And sorry about sending that letter pretending to be a russian bride.

    Reply
    • 3

      Financial Uproar says

      That was you? Rats.

      Can I have my $5000 back?

      Reply
  3. 4

    Len Penzo says

    Thanks for filling in for me this week, Nelson. Great job!

    By the way, in about two hours from now I will be attending a wedding. I’m going to try and snag the bride’s garter for you at the reception when she tosses it into the crowd.

    Hey, you never know — it may end up saving you five grand.

    (Sorry, Svetlana.)

    Reply
  4. 5

    Slackerjo says

    I wonder what will happened in 20-30 years with all the houses? Will anybody be able to afford them once the current owners move/die? The cost of housing, commuting, childcare, education etc is skyrocketing while income is, well,not what it used to be. I listen to people at work all day complain about the costs associated with owning a house. Most have modest homes but have become slaves to those homes.

    I am sooo glad I rent. Still it drives me crazy that housing is so expensive in Canada. We live in a country that is made up mostly of land and trees!

    Reply
    • 6

      Financial Uproar says

      Don’t worry, they will become more affordable sooner than you think. All the signs are there for the market to take a tumble.

      Reply
  5. 7

    Deb says

    Nelson, good job at the helm for Len. One point though, anybody that buys the candy two weeks or more before Halloween is really buying it for themselves. Own it. Just sayin’.

    Reply
  6. 8

    Vanessa says

    Ah! Thank you for including me Nelson 🙂

    Reply
  7. 9

    Gina says

    As a regular reader of this blog, and a Canadian, I enjoyed this edition. Thanks Nelson! Oh, and thanks Len! Love your blog!

    Reply
  8. 10

    Tom says

    Good job, Nelson – you should do this more often. Here’s another debit for you:

    Debit: Even if I paid the United States $4 every time I appreciate Taylor’s loveliness, I still wouldn’t eliminate their national debt.

    Reply
  9. 11

    J. Money says

    haha… yeah, Kathryn is crazy interesting! even with her long titles 🙂 hope you had a great weekend, bud.

    Reply
  10. 12

    Michael in SoCal says

    Never get tired of reading L.A. Kings, Stanley Cup Champions!

    Thanks for the Canadian guest-post!

    Reply
  11. 13

    deRuiter says

    Have a friend who got one of the hot Russian brides. Things went swimmingly for about six months with her telling him he was God’s gift, cooking great meals, commenting upon his male prowess, etc. Then suddenly she was showing up at emergency room and he was being called to pick her up, staff glaring at him, poor sod still not a clue. He began to understand when he was served restraining order for domestic violence, locked out of his paid for house while “bride” was allowed to stay in house, arrested by local law for domestic violence, out on bail so he could continue to work at his job and support “bride” in HIS house while he lived in his car. The local woman’s group “against domestic violence” had snagged the bride and was coaching her how to achieve the American dream, which of course had become a nightmare for the poor sod who thought a Russian bride would be greatful and agreeable for being brought to America and treated well. Long story short, $20,000 in legal fees later, Russian bride and her “coaches” forced to admit it was all fake, he got house back, still has to pay for divorce and she’s been deported. “Buy American!” Oddly enough, said friend has sworn off Russian brides and is now perusing dog eared copies of “Cherry Blossom” on theory that Oriental women will be a better prospect than the Russian! Ya gotta admire his optimism.

    Reply
  12. 14

    AshWilliams says

    This comments from bride sites are so funny. I faced with these few times and it was extremly stupid. Standart was something like “I am very ill so send me ### dollars, because i need it”.

    Reply
  13. 15

    Ml agancy says

    Find a mate from Russia? curious curious need to think about it.

    Reply
  14. 16

    Billy says

    Don’t like facing with these scammers. Who in clear mind will ever send money to an unknown woman?
    I like online dating, but first off all, I make sure that the girl I chat with is real and not a scammer, or if there is a verification system on the dating site itself.

    Reply

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